Song Lyrics Seeking Honest Critique
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Song lyrics poems and music poetry
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Land Mines
![restricted poem](/images/extremecontent.jpg)
31 reads
1 Comment
8th What If I Killed Myself?(Alternating History)
Intro(Dialogue)
"What if I Killed Myself
Would my family care
Did they ever care
Suicidal entered my mind when I was little
It was placed in my heart
And flowed through my body
But let me ask you all of this
Can we
May I
I want too
Reverse this curse"
(On this line, scream out the words)
WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELF
Pre-chorus
Will they approach my body...
Will they try to wake me up...
(Suicide entered my heart)
Chorus
FREE ME OF ALL MY DEEPEST
REINCARNATIONS
Cure this disease
Cure...
"What if I Killed Myself
Would my family care
Did they ever care
Suicidal entered my mind when I was little
It was placed in my heart
And flowed through my body
But let me ask you all of this
Can we
May I
I want too
Reverse this curse"
(On this line, scream out the words)
WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELF
Pre-chorus
Will they approach my body...
Will they try to wake me up...
(Suicide entered my heart)
Chorus
FREE ME OF ALL MY DEEPEST
REINCARNATIONS
Cure this disease
Cure...
28 reads
0 Comments
8th Special Nights(Extended Breakdown Version)
Intro(sing high on this verse and fade away in the last verse)
THIS IS OUR SPECIAL NIGHTS
TOGETHER IN THE MOUNTAINS(SEAS)
GROWING UP TOGETHER
(STAY IN TOUCH...)
(Breakdown)
I CANNOT TAKE THIS ABUSE ANYMORE
IM GOING CRAZY WITH ALL THESE WORDS
AND MUSIC I HEAR ALL DAY
WHERE ARE YOU NOW
WHERE ARE YOU NOWWWWWWW
Chorus(sustain each word for 2 seconds in the first 2 lines, sustain the last word and the 4th and 5th line/3 WORDS for 3 seconds)
Your not worth it anymore
Your not important too me
AM I YOUR SON(OR AM I A PROFIT)...
THIS IS OUR SPECIAL NIGHTS
TOGETHER IN THE MOUNTAINS(SEAS)
GROWING UP TOGETHER
(STAY IN TOUCH...)
(Breakdown)
I CANNOT TAKE THIS ABUSE ANYMORE
IM GOING CRAZY WITH ALL THESE WORDS
AND MUSIC I HEAR ALL DAY
WHERE ARE YOU NOW
WHERE ARE YOU NOWWWWWWW
Chorus(sustain each word for 2 seconds in the first 2 lines, sustain the last word and the 4th and 5th line/3 WORDS for 3 seconds)
Your not worth it anymore
Your not important too me
AM I YOUR SON(OR AM I A PROFIT)...
25 reads
0 Comments
It’s Socially Acceptable to Have a Girlfriend, Get a Place Together and Pretend You’re Little Adults
Audio/Visual Recording @:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GDMK_1kmi8
Again I am too stoned,
There she stands alone,
In the blur of everyone...
Now I should approach,
Before it gets too much,
Before I lose the clutch...
This moment could be lost,
At such Eternal Cost,
At such Eternal Cost...
I crave the Immortal’s Plate,
Yet settle in the wait,
Of weathers soft and safe...
Every night I could go on,
Walk off into the dawn,
Forever from here gone...
But something holds me back,
Her...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GDMK_1kmi8
Again I am too stoned,
There she stands alone,
In the blur of everyone...
Now I should approach,
Before it gets too much,
Before I lose the clutch...
This moment could be lost,
At such Eternal Cost,
At such Eternal Cost...
I crave the Immortal’s Plate,
Yet settle in the wait,
Of weathers soft and safe...
Every night I could go on,
Walk off into the dawn,
Forever from here gone...
But something holds me back,
Her...
46 reads
1 Comment
Not Afraid of the Dark
Audio/Visual Recording @:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GDMK_1kmi8
When I am left in myself
And I can't use what I am
Those endings will not delay
Why won't it ever behave?
It could have been so perfect
Another night on the shore
But it's too late for that now
I took the lengthening scared
And I can only hang on
To you my long-ago friend
But even you must go on
You cannot stay with me there
And when the sun has gone down
I won't know how to contain
I cannot trust what we are
I won't know how to...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GDMK_1kmi8
When I am left in myself
And I can't use what I am
Those endings will not delay
Why won't it ever behave?
It could have been so perfect
Another night on the shore
But it's too late for that now
I took the lengthening scared
And I can only hang on
To you my long-ago friend
But even you must go on
You cannot stay with me there
And when the sun has gone down
I won't know how to contain
I cannot trust what we are
I won't know how to...
59 reads
6 Comments
Melody in my Head
You're the melody that never brings me down
The voice in my ears such a perfect sound
You're the one tempo that's never off step
And you're the one pitch that has perfect depth
You're the one beat that I don't want to drop
And when I am with you my heart seems to stop
You repeat in my mind like you're stuck on replay
But you're the one song I can hear everyday
You're the one note that I wish was longer
And you're the one harmony that I wish was stronger
You're the one chord I don't want to break
And you're the vibrato I don't want to shake...
The voice in my ears such a perfect sound
You're the one tempo that's never off step
And you're the one pitch that has perfect depth
You're the one beat that I don't want to drop
And when I am with you my heart seems to stop
You repeat in my mind like you're stuck on replay
But you're the one song I can hear everyday
You're the one note that I wish was longer
And you're the one harmony that I wish was stronger
You're the one chord I don't want to break
And you're the vibrato I don't want to shake...
66 reads
6 Comments
?????
2 families can't get along
Only the brother and sister see eye to eye
Of the opposite side
This isn't going too well
This family is just fighting too much too handle
I don't wanna see her cry anymore
I promise her when we are grown up
We Wont live like our parents did
And my siblings we will watch over each other
Chorus
U can hate us all u want
I'm going with my friend to church
So we can live a better life and seek out our passions
It's the right time to have some peace away
From all the screaming and crying
I ask God...
Only the brother and sister see eye to eye
Of the opposite side
This isn't going too well
This family is just fighting too much too handle
I don't wanna see her cry anymore
I promise her when we are grown up
We Wont live like our parents did
And my siblings we will watch over each other
Chorus
U can hate us all u want
I'm going with my friend to church
So we can live a better life and seek out our passions
It's the right time to have some peace away
From all the screaming and crying
I ask God...
43 reads
2 Comments
Pretty
Time is going by pretty fast
Lately I've been having flashbacks of the past
my body so sore
My heart and mind so numb
I guess I'm feeling pretty lonely
I've changed and I feel they don't see me
My soul and body feel no more as one
The monster that I am conceiving
It needs time to grow
So I'm still myself
Though almost somebody else
When I cry I'm holding it all in
I dry my face to hide the shame
I hide when I can't keep control
Times when I'm not so pretty myself
I guess I'm feeling pretty down
...
Lately I've been having flashbacks of the past
my body so sore
My heart and mind so numb
I guess I'm feeling pretty lonely
I've changed and I feel they don't see me
My soul and body feel no more as one
The monster that I am conceiving
It needs time to grow
So I'm still myself
Though almost somebody else
When I cry I'm holding it all in
I dry my face to hide the shame
I hide when I can't keep control
Times when I'm not so pretty myself
I guess I'm feeling pretty down
...
28 reads
1 Comment
Rapping Kid Ramses
Strutting in as if walking on water
Spawner of Pharisees dividing the seas
Making several passes parting cheering masses
Hailed in their idol worship
Awestruck wonder
With each trip around the ring
Failed attempts stealing not my thunder
For this true son of pharoaohs sees
What you're up to with your plagues
Disease and Pestilence
Upon your entrance
Super flies and frogs leaping
Banished poet laureate
May savage a brother
While keeping him from his rightful throne
Begone with you who I now disown
Stay and I will own you...
Spawner of Pharisees dividing the seas
Making several passes parting cheering masses
Hailed in their idol worship
Awestruck wonder
With each trip around the ring
Failed attempts stealing not my thunder
For this true son of pharoaohs sees
What you're up to with your plagues
Disease and Pestilence
Upon your entrance
Super flies and frogs leaping
Banished poet laureate
May savage a brother
While keeping him from his rightful throne
Begone with you who I now disown
Stay and I will own you...
34 reads
0 Comments
Dream lover
-Chorus-
Dream lover lie to me!
Lie dream lover, cause I'm listening!
Uh huh, catfish catching your drift!
Then he said to this Demimonde Goddess
"Want you for my woman, my wife".
Wife? Really? Seriously?
Guess, I am all in!
-Verse 1-
A spark on match
Checkin out the scene
Reading foreign profiles
You know what I mean
Not expectin much
Just what I gotta do
Switching lanes
Following up behind you
(Soul Mate!)
Looking at, hot chocolate gold
Computed...
Dream lover lie to me!
Lie dream lover, cause I'm listening!
Uh huh, catfish catching your drift!
Then he said to this Demimonde Goddess
"Want you for my woman, my wife".
Wife? Really? Seriously?
Guess, I am all in!
-Verse 1-
A spark on match
Checkin out the scene
Reading foreign profiles
You know what I mean
Not expectin much
Just what I gotta do
Switching lanes
Following up behind you
(Soul Mate!)
Looking at, hot chocolate gold
Computed...
58 reads
8 Comments
19.One Bloodline(We won't make the same mistakes
![restricted poem](/images/extremecontent.jpg)
35 reads
0 Comments
8th The Price of Freedom(Rewrite from 1st Series)
Intro(sing each word with a high voice, sing the last line softly)
SERENE
CASCADES
MOUNTAINS
(The Price of Freedom....)
IS STEEP
Chorus(sustain "Stay here" each time, for 2 second,in the last repeat and past line, sing both with a high voice)
Stay here x4
(The price of freedom is steep)
You must become my living legacy
And fulfill my dream...
HONOR YOURSELF
Verse 1
Steeped with hate and guiltiness
With me, will you find what I'm missing
Those wings
Those hearts
(WHY DO THEY HURT)
...
SERENE
CASCADES
MOUNTAINS
(The Price of Freedom....)
IS STEEP
Chorus(sustain "Stay here" each time, for 2 second,in the last repeat and past line, sing both with a high voice)
Stay here x4
(The price of freedom is steep)
You must become my living legacy
And fulfill my dream...
HONOR YOURSELF
Verse 1
Steeped with hate and guiltiness
With me, will you find what I'm missing
Those wings
Those hearts
(WHY DO THEY HURT)
...
26 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Song Lyrics Poems Seeking Critique (Page 4)