Non-Fiction Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Non-poetic writing including diary extracts, journal entries, letters, essays and art
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Little Girl
Little girl
You're caught up in your dreams
Escaping your fate
Moving on to brighter things
Butterflies and rainbows
Tails of kings and queens
A place far away from reality
Where only the purest hearts can go
Little girl
You're so popular
The cool kids want to be you
Though you're not a people person
You seem to make it through
A personality so bubbly
No one thinks you're blue
Little girl
You're destined for greatness
Everyone sees it
You like to believe it
Anything
You could achieve it
The world...
You're caught up in your dreams
Escaping your fate
Moving on to brighter things
Butterflies and rainbows
Tails of kings and queens
A place far away from reality
Where only the purest hearts can go
Little girl
You're so popular
The cool kids want to be you
Though you're not a people person
You seem to make it through
A personality so bubbly
No one thinks you're blue
Little girl
You're destined for greatness
Everyone sees it
You like to believe it
Anything
You could achieve it
The world...
40 reads
0 Comments
Freewriting- warm up for Compo Test
I like to do this...thing. Before composition tests (every Tuesday), I'd freewrite. This was a (surprisingly coherent) page of my Exercise Book from this week. It's a really noncommittal thing, but I like it. Thoughts?
I want to write a story.
I want to write a story I can drown in. I want it to be an ocean. I want it to be endless and unexpected, no matter how much of it one's explored. I want it to be deceptively deep. I want it to be profound, bottomless, in the sense that perhaps one needn't see the end--on just needs to know that it's there, somewhere, always a breath a way;...
I want to write a story.
I want to write a story I can drown in. I want it to be an ocean. I want it to be endless and unexpected, no matter how much of it one's explored. I want it to be deceptively deep. I want it to be profound, bottomless, in the sense that perhaps one needn't see the end--on just needs to know that it's there, somewhere, always a breath a way;...
32 reads
0 Comments
Weeping Peach
She stands so gloriously. Her weeping boughs covered in deep pink rose buds, the fragrance overflows the senses. Her trunk dark and deep as the faltering sky trading places with daylight. Twisted and gnarled to perfection in her young age. Now I must weep for her as I clip away each peach covered branch. She can no longer stand here among my perennial plants. Offering them dappled sunlight and cool from the heat of the day. She must be removed from her favorite place, much to my dismay. I do not know how I will tell my daughter this death I must perform. This was her baby tree that grew with...
44 reads
4 Comments
The Dark Life
Darkness of Sky,
No Birds,
No Bee's,
No tree's,
Just Black,
I hear heavy laughing,
And the ground is so flat,
The People,
They walk like they have no soul,
They move like they bodies grown cool,
I'm here,
where no life for greed,
Or press are needed,
I'm here,
Where the light from Dark have been defeated,
I'm here,
where no need is treated,
No love is needed,
Nobody is heated,
I'm here,
sitting here,
standing here,
walking here,
talking here,
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Here,
Can...
No Birds,
No Bee's,
No tree's,
Just Black,
I hear heavy laughing,
And the ground is so flat,
The People,
They walk like they have no soul,
They move like they bodies grown cool,
I'm here,
where no life for greed,
Or press are needed,
I'm here,
Where the light from Dark have been defeated,
I'm here,
where no need is treated,
No love is needed,
Nobody is heated,
I'm here,
sitting here,
standing here,
walking here,
talking here,
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Here,
Can...
37 reads
2 Comments
the summer
Summer was long and it breathed me in and out with passion and injustice, the days stretched out into nights which turned into mornings that became legendary stories I’ll someday tell my colleagues with a grin and remember the nights we danced among the filth of life, the kisses of destiny and the licks of the impossible that became possible. Our hopes and our actual path differ greatly. The wind tossed my hair, the sun beat down on my skin and the sand ate away at the scum stuck to the bottom of my feet. Were you my sun or were you the concealing clouds on a downcast day? My lips remain soft...
25 reads
0 Comments
stolen moments
in the autumn park, mids of the town
i went to watch trees..
there was one, bent and vandalized,with the splits of beerbottles stringed on twigs, the tree lay over ground but still lived..
so i went though alley to to revisit this tree to see wether it not cared by some gardener,
who usually work in such landscapes as park...
moisty air of grayish day wasnt obvisiously inviting for many visitors
why park looked almost like abandoned district..
or may be i felt like that after i sow them?
they, were three persons, most perhaps...
i went to watch trees..
there was one, bent and vandalized,with the splits of beerbottles stringed on twigs, the tree lay over ground but still lived..
so i went though alley to to revisit this tree to see wether it not cared by some gardener,
who usually work in such landscapes as park...
moisty air of grayish day wasnt obvisiously inviting for many visitors
why park looked almost like abandoned district..
or may be i felt like that after i sow them?
they, were three persons, most perhaps...
38 reads
2 Comments
On Suicide And Robin Williams(TRIGGER WARNING)
47 reads
9 Comments
B-side
I'm glad of the time we've spent, through all the good times and the bad you've always been there for your friends. It's a tough time for all of us, I hope you'll understand. My decision is tough to make, as much as I wanted to stay with you for the rest of the way, I guess self-preservation is in my best interest. What happened to us, was a test of faith, our friendship is at stake. It's been a lesson for all of us, and we've learned it the hard way. We're reckless and were careless. We ignored the signs, we dismissed the warnings. We thought we're invincible. I hope this is not goodbye,...
35 reads
2 Comments
Squires in the Struggle (Inner Monologue Version)
I don't live a "dramatic" life, you know?
most people would say that makes me boring
but
I don't waste my time with most people.
My time's for my friends,
So I guess they're "boring" too.
Haha, Don't get me wrong,
They are unique, inspiring people
Still, predictable
Blockbusters lead to squeals.
Course there's nothing wrong with that,
Creatures of habit n all
But yeah, in the end
It's same old same old
When you think about it
We're just there, together, existing.
Yet at the core,...
most people would say that makes me boring
but
I don't waste my time with most people.
My time's for my friends,
So I guess they're "boring" too.
Haha, Don't get me wrong,
They are unique, inspiring people
Still, predictable
Blockbusters lead to squeals.
Course there's nothing wrong with that,
Creatures of habit n all
But yeah, in the end
It's same old same old
When you think about it
We're just there, together, existing.
Yet at the core,...
41 reads
1 Comment
You're all beautiful ()
Looking in the mirror I see someone who doesn’t categorise as ‘perfect’. Thoughts race constantly through my mind filling my head with hateful and conscious thoughts.
My hair is a mess, my body screams the opposite of thin, and my face? HA, don’t get me started,
My physical faults go hand in hand with the thoughts that lie hidden within my mind and the quiet scares me because it screams the truth.
But… you could call these thoughts delusional.
What would I be if I became the perception of ‘perfect’? How about if everyone let these thoughts consume them and they willingly...
My hair is a mess, my body screams the opposite of thin, and my face? HA, don’t get me started,
My physical faults go hand in hand with the thoughts that lie hidden within my mind and the quiet scares me because it screams the truth.
But… you could call these thoughts delusional.
What would I be if I became the perception of ‘perfect’? How about if everyone let these thoughts consume them and they willingly...
67 reads
5 Comments
letter, which isnt echo from c**t but one fairly little outbreack of 'emotional illiteracy'
you, 'missus' are a big fake. i wrote you in 2009 even not because of abysses of propaganda and pornography on both sides of my narrow road, but because i had fragile hope you would unite me with my beloved...
but you even didnt learn to ask uninvited sojouner: "how can i help you?"
where then your unknown and unwanted dada-man, let me kiss his nose, with Nada and othere whores..if you disliked i wanted lick your teeth after reading your newest story..if of such 'illiteracy of emotions' you feel dizzy to vomiting!
i say you where is him, you dont have...
but you even didnt learn to ask uninvited sojouner: "how can i help you?"
where then your unknown and unwanted dada-man, let me kiss his nose, with Nada and othere whores..if you disliked i wanted lick your teeth after reading your newest story..if of such 'illiteracy of emotions' you feel dizzy to vomiting!
i say you where is him, you dont have...
39 reads
2 Comments
Our Fallacy of Life
We are a species that have lost touch to our basic roots and reverted to the ways of hate, ignorance, and intolerance against any species including our own. We rape, pillage, and destroy the planet for "resources" that cannot be made at will or even be manipulated for the betterment of not only ourselves but the planet as a whole. Instead we stick ourselves in a cage called society and allow ourselves to be dictated by others while falling into a cycle of self-pity and blame everyone else for our troubles. We imprison other species and destroy their habit in the name of progress but...
52 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Non-Fiction Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories, Diary Entries and Letters (Page 2)