Fictional Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Short stories and chapters from books and novels
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
trade of blackness
and I walking about
the night, thinking
I saw a moving star
that lights the heart
at the slightest tempt
and fills the tender brain
with trade of blackness;
sought a laugh from
under a darkened bell jar
under the green leaf
where a spider has kept
his wish; the crowning for
for my thoughtlessness,
in that we're the gods of
the animals that become us.
the night, thinking
I saw a moving star
that lights the heart
at the slightest tempt
and fills the tender brain
with trade of blackness;
sought a laugh from
under a darkened bell jar
under the green leaf
where a spider has kept
his wish; the crowning for
for my thoughtlessness,
in that we're the gods of
the animals that become us.
32 reads
0 Comments
Happily Ever After
35 reads
0 Comments
Gangster of The Night
It was a cold, Chicago night.
The year was 1947.
There was barely any light in the club.
Women on stage dancing as they lift up their skirts and flirt.
Men sitting down as they are laughing and having a good time.
Siting there was him.
He, sat at the far end of the bar.
He, had one drink in his hand and cigar in another.
He, blew smoke in the air as he saw they were there to take him away.
But, he didn't care he threw his cigar as he escaped through the window.
He ran down the stairs until one of them got a pistol and pointed it at him.
But, the man...
The year was 1947.
There was barely any light in the club.
Women on stage dancing as they lift up their skirts and flirt.
Men sitting down as they are laughing and having a good time.
Siting there was him.
He, sat at the far end of the bar.
He, had one drink in his hand and cigar in another.
He, blew smoke in the air as he saw they were there to take him away.
But, he didn't care he threw his cigar as he escaped through the window.
He ran down the stairs until one of them got a pistol and pointed it at him.
But, the man...
42 reads
2 Comments
Kiisha Marie (Test Story Pt. 1)
((A/N: This is simply the first two paragraphs of a story I am beginning to write. Please be honest with your comments. Let me know if there is anything I should change.))
The young wolf smiled lightly as she padded into the Lunar Cycle Wolf Den. This was her home, from the delicious, coppery scent of freshly killed venison to the thick, light brown, short furred bear pelts stacked in the storage room. She shook her body, her grey and burgundy fur threw water droplets across the entrance from the pouring rain outside. In a quick movement her bones broke, then slithered like snakes...
The young wolf smiled lightly as she padded into the Lunar Cycle Wolf Den. This was her home, from the delicious, coppery scent of freshly killed venison to the thick, light brown, short furred bear pelts stacked in the storage room. She shook her body, her grey and burgundy fur threw water droplets across the entrance from the pouring rain outside. In a quick movement her bones broke, then slithered like snakes...
38 reads
2 Comments
R U Just a Brain in a Vat, & if so, How Does That Affect Your SEX Life?
41 reads
0 Comments
Price for the Prize
Price for the prize
The seed of a money tree
I bet you everlasting leaves
Shield to all problems
A green cow is a cheap bargain
The staff of fame
Stardom, the rise of galaxies
The universe is a screen
The left balls is a paycut
A cloth of Power
Hitler was a bluff
The earth, a province at your feet
Jump off the eiffel tower
Herb of health
Illment an outkast
Accidents, drowned in the seas
Survive a dragon's sting
Eternal Life, life unending
Dine with the maker
Peace and happy ever
Believe in...
The seed of a money tree
I bet you everlasting leaves
Shield to all problems
A green cow is a cheap bargain
The staff of fame
Stardom, the rise of galaxies
The universe is a screen
The left balls is a paycut
A cloth of Power
Hitler was a bluff
The earth, a province at your feet
Jump off the eiffel tower
Herb of health
Illment an outkast
Accidents, drowned in the seas
Survive a dragon's sting
Eternal Life, life unending
Dine with the maker
Peace and happy ever
Believe in...
33 reads
2 Comments
This Quintessence of Dust
Forgive me my Lord,
and me Bard, one sees
the soul in process;
the color will change
as the child’s hair is
beguiled in contemplation;
a tea dons vortex in motion,
it was violet perhaps, yet
the theater was ripped
to shreds, and the fortune
was the constant that makes
the binomial a perfect square,
oh beggar the beggar, sly,
(He) belike some noble ass
when he wakes with a head
trifling gas in the funny idea;
the effects alone are palatable.
and me Bard, one sees
the soul in process;
the color will change
as the child’s hair is
beguiled in contemplation;
a tea dons vortex in motion,
it was violet perhaps, yet
the theater was ripped
to shreds, and the fortune
was the constant that makes
the binomial a perfect square,
oh beggar the beggar, sly,
(He) belike some noble ass
when he wakes with a head
trifling gas in the funny idea;
the effects alone are palatable.
55 reads
4 Comments
Another Lost Soul Chapter 3
My mom pulled up to a 2-story white house. The front of it had a wrap-around porch and a porch swing. I waited until my mom was in front of the car to get out. I really didn't want to be here. I would rather be at school than here. The door opened and a man came out. His hair was dyed black, and he was wearing a polo and khakis that were held up with a leather belt. He walked over to my mom and shook her hand then pulled her into a hug. My muscles tensed up. The thought of this guy touching my mom was enough to make me run.
"Hello Jill. I see you have found it after all. This...
"Hello Jill. I see you have found it after all. This...
34 reads
0 Comments
Bullshit Baffles Brains
Bombardier Bob Grice had been a sergeant then got himself busted (twice) down to the basic rank of gunner. His great character, initiative and natural low cunning had got him promoted again.
The big gruff Yorkshireman had grown up in a succession of orphanages and foster homes forcing him to become self reliant or, as one Sergeant Major had described him: “As sharp as a shit house rat and slicker than snot on a glass banister.”
Bob had joined the British Army in 1943 at the age of 18 and showed great promise in basic training. He had gone ashore on D day plus one with...
The big gruff Yorkshireman had grown up in a succession of orphanages and foster homes forcing him to become self reliant or, as one Sergeant Major had described him: “As sharp as a shit house rat and slicker than snot on a glass banister.”
Bob had joined the British Army in 1943 at the age of 18 and showed great promise in basic training. He had gone ashore on D day plus one with...
35 reads
2 Comments
Dragonfly
what is it that you cannot touch,
that we have found divine, and made pretty
by chiseled scars and auburn pain,
in honor, precedence to new ages,
they will not pass slowly, nor weep in vain,
for if the dragonfly told secrets to Saturn,
the precious moments, and all the tea cups,
would shatter to the ground in silence.
that we have found divine, and made pretty
by chiseled scars and auburn pain,
in honor, precedence to new ages,
they will not pass slowly, nor weep in vain,
for if the dragonfly told secrets to Saturn,
the precious moments, and all the tea cups,
would shatter to the ground in silence.
67 reads
12 Comments
Poem One-Hundred-Ninety-Six
At age four, I was your little playfriend;
At age four, I was the new little girl in your neighborhood;
At age four, I was the one that followed you home that day;
At age four, I was the one your mother called 'bloody adorible';
At age four, I was the one who secretly stole your favorite stuffed animal;
At age four, I returned it the very next day because I didn't want you to cry;
At age four, I remember holding you when your father was fatally wounded;
At age four, I couldn't play with you after your mother took her own life;
I was a day from five when you...
At age four, I was the new little girl in your neighborhood;
At age four, I was the one that followed you home that day;
At age four, I was the one your mother called 'bloody adorible';
At age four, I was the one who secretly stole your favorite stuffed animal;
At age four, I returned it the very next day because I didn't want you to cry;
At age four, I remember holding you when your father was fatally wounded;
At age four, I couldn't play with you after your mother took her own life;
I was a day from five when you...
39 reads
1 Comment
A dog's monument
(Entered in "Something Worth Writing)
At Gettysburg Lincoln stated that four
score and seven years before a nation
was brought forth, conceived in liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that
all men are created equal. He dedicated
the ground for those who gave their
lives that that nation might live.
Four score and nine years ago, 20 men
and their sled dogs risked their lives in
what later became famous as "The
Great Race of Mercy" to bring hope to
the diphtheria-stricken town of Nome.
This heroic deed was honoured by a...
At Gettysburg Lincoln stated that four
score and seven years before a nation
was brought forth, conceived in liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that
all men are created equal. He dedicated
the ground for those who gave their
lives that that nation might live.
Four score and nine years ago, 20 men
and their sled dogs risked their lives in
what later became famous as "The
Great Race of Mercy" to bring hope to
the diphtheria-stricken town of Nome.
This heroic deed was honoured by a...
34 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Fictional Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories and Chapters from Books and Novels