Horrifying silent scream

There's a horrifying scream in my heart
That never seems to part
My mind or my soul
And it's starting to take control
I sometimes scream to the voices in my head
"Please tell me I am dead"
It's the scream of heartache
The scream of heartbreak
The scream of hearing myself say hurt her
The scream of seeing my own bloody murder
Why does this scream torment me in my time of despair
A deranged killer taking me in her care
I swim in a pool of death
I hate my blackness my whiteness
I hate myself
All I need is a knife
And I will slide it to the right
From the fucking left