Regrets of a Fairy

Party queen
Party whore
Party tease

Do the other girls envy
me?

Mind-- not at ease--
reckless attempts to appease
my pulsing body.
Tripping hard, a fairy
with acorns for pupils,
body rotting from
the inside out, glum
ooze escapes
and rapes
important blood vessels
from that safe
canal under my tongue.

I feel the beat
the rhythm
the heat,
it glides, pulses, surges
through me like an orgasm.
My hips respond
my ass
my waist
my whole being
my soul
We all move as one,
diving deeper into the dance.

A cut off shirt
A 90's dance party
Dirt in my hair
Sex in the air

The short blonde one
asks me to dance
-- I indulge.

Is it wrong?
to press into his body
and make him feel the pulse--
feel my pulse--
but shy away from his lips
from his touch
from his earnest gestures
of expecting our physical
connection to go somewhere

Is it wrong?
to walk away
producing excuses
that seem... excuses,
as they are

Is it wrong?
to engage yet another
in this sensuous tease,
even further this time

I accept his lips,
allow his hand to hover
below my hip,
beneath lacy underwear.

Is it wrong?
to let him swap saliva
when I well know
my saliva tastes
as it is-- in a state of acidic decay.
Why does he want more?
Why do I give it?
Is it okay?

Is it wrong?
when I whisper "this is going
nowhere"
when I plead
"I'm not going to go outside
to kiss you,
I won't move at all from here".

Is it wrong?
that he is sad
and continues to try

Is it wrong?
that I let him
despite-- or because of-- my apathy

Is it wrong?
to be apathetic
when you dance like a whore

Does the night lend to me powers,
or steal away my forces of judgement?

When fairies trip,
how hard could they fall?