Party Hardy

Why the fuck am I at this party?
What was the point of being here?
I feel like such a goddamn outcast
Sitting in the corner with a half empty cup
Was it the girls? No, they’re just an easy distraction
The booze? No, I can get plenty of that myself
The friends? No, I don’t trust anyone here
There’s only one reason I can think of
I’m here for the social hierarchy
To party with them, like a fucking rock star
Because I need to feel wanted
To feel like I belong to something
More than just a lonely night at my desk
But now that I’m here I am very scared
Sipping and sipping until the voices quiet
Letting the bass move across my body
Absorbing me from this horrible reality  
Hearing sounds of laughter at my expense
As I crash to the floor in a drunken state
Phones out, camera rolling, I take to the stage
Running away, stumbling across the tile
Just leave me alone, I can’t take it anymore
I’m leaving, if I can make it through the door
Black out and I can’t remember a damn thing
My face laying down on the cold hard floor
My body aches and twitches as I get up
And I wonder. What was the fucking point?