Deadly love

Every night I cry myself to sleep, tortured and I scream.
Every morning I lay there and I weep, because your face haunts my dreams.
You were right a out the things I had to change.
but you ran away to quick to see who I became.
I love you more than anything, my passions or my dreams.
Even when my parents died, it was nothing like this agony.
Even in your silent distance, I love you more each day.
Yet as my love grows for you, so does the agony and pain.
Though your not alone, death doesn't want me either.
Countless attempts at suicide, yet here I still linger.
I found that I cannot move on, in this life or to the after life.
The night you left me, I was going to ask you to be my wife.
I know I hurt you in the past and I deserved to have my heart broke. Though even now I need you here you were my only hope.
You stood by me through everything, no matter what I did.
I should have never let you go because I was scared.
I thought that you would be happier, but I was not prepared. My fear came true soon after, and I know your happier with him.
I tried so hard to get you back in vain.
I know this is the end.
I guess it's time to say goodbye.
Off to another suicide.
I'm sorry for all I put you through and I know it wont change a thing.
The last time before my final breaths, my tears fall like rain.
I know many still love me, and want to kill my pain.
I know they hate seeing me so broken every day.
I can't return thier love, and I run and hide away.
I love you baby girl until the day I die, but I hope that is tonight.
I'd rather that then to live curse in painl after another failed suicide.