Stream of Consciousness -3a.m.

Talking with a friend stirred up the ghosts
Converation as can opener
Breaking the tight vacuum seal
Placed there "for my own good"
By a brain too timid and a heart too tender
To truly understand absence
Daylight seems safer than night
Or perhaps just easier
More distractions
Easier then
to "Pay no attention to the men behind the curtain"
Ghosts fear the day
Or perhaps I do
So I work harder at avoidance
Of
Obvious and uncomfortable
Truths
Denial as sundial
- wry smile -
In a blue sky
Sins burn bright as suns
Even the imagined ones
But memories hide themselves
In scraps of shadow
In secret places within you
Where the noon-tide sun
Never reaches
But it's three in the morning now
The guards are nodding
The shadows at their fullest
And so you slip through
The chinks
Familiar but uninvited guests
And take your accustomed places
At the empty table of
My hopefulness
Univited but not
Unwelcome
Having the memory is
Better than having
Nothing
At
All
Isn't it
-perhaps-
There is no denial
Sun or no sun
That my record is
Abysmal
David
Dead
Paul
Mad
Andy
Too early to tell
He's only vanished
Seemiingly
Three days ago
Alien abduction
Cult indoctrination
Spontaneous human combustion
Anything is possible
Or
Perhaps he merely
Decided there
Was "nothing more to see
Here folks"
And moved on
For his sake
I hope that's the case
For the sake of my
Vanity
I'm rooting for the aliens
It is definitely
Unsettling
To
One's sense of self
One
An abberation
Two
A coincidence
But three
Three seems to show
Definite indications
Of possible pattern
Are preventative measures
Called for?
A large neon sign
Posted prominently over
The door to my
Heart
"Abandon hope -- etc."
Luckily
If past data serves
As an indicator
Though dangerous to
Travel
It is a road
Not often taken
Small comfort to
Them
Or Me
Still it's something
I suppose
And at three a.m.
You take what comfort
You can get
And wait for
Sunrise