From a friend, and straight to another.

I worry about you sitting there;
head in hands
wondering when those internal voices
are going to shut the fuck up
and let you think for a while.
The problem is you are thinking,
but there's too much to think about.
That's the fucking ordeal,
right there.

Christ knows what you've done
with your life.
You could be fucking it
all the way up
or building a healthy new.
That's always going to be
a gamble.
I'm not sure myself.
Spend a few months feeling unstoppable
then the next thing you know
you're constantly tired and
having some lumps examined.

But, sod that,
this is about you...
Well, not so much about,
but for.

So, wherever you are,
you know you're gambling
and you know the dramas
that rest at the foot
of that gambling bed.
Whether it turns out to be worth it
or not
there's something you should remember:
YOU MADE A CHOICE.

I'm surrounded by people
who never make those choices,
I call them plodders,
and they're fucking stale.
They take no risks,
and when life does hit them in the jaw
it's because life happened.
Not because they did.

Whenever this blows over,
whenever you're staring at something fresh,
you'll know that,
and that's the difference between you
and all those other fuckers.
You happened.
You rolled with a choice,
all the way.
For better or worse
that is the stuff
that makes the soul.

But, whilst it's feeling raw,
and sanity seems a little tested,
there's not a proverb in the world
that will keep it going,
not truthfully.
(but, we do have a bad habit
of bullshitting ourselves
when we need to hear it).

Take your head from your hands,
and find one of those half arsed smiles
that convince no one,
but you laugh at it all the same.
The worst thing you could do
is back peddle,
but we all know
that's not an option.
Not for you.