3/15/2013

Somebody please tell me life is worth living, because these feelings that I'm feeling are too hard to be dealing with. I'm about two seconds away from downing NyQuil, popping some pills, or jumping in the street and wrecking somebody's grill. All the anger, regret and resentment I feel, has intensified and blown up in front of my eyes. Its' been so long since I felt love, my hearts' become petrified. The reasons I'm feeling this way have been recognized but won't be specified do to the carelessness we all feel inside. My being has been brutalized before but now its' reached it's breaking point. I'm sure you all aren't use to me saying these things so sorry if I disappoint. I don't mean to carry on, I'll get to the point, I'm just not happy go lucky anymore and I want this pain gone. Its' sad enough, I have the nerve to share this when my bibles' open to psalms twenty-seven, but happiness just feels out of my reach and I'm getting further away from heaven. This isn't cry out for help, I'm just giving a confession, and it seems lately, singing these sad songs have become my latest obsession. I know God gave me with this gift, but I don't see it as a profession, because it seems like more of a curse than any type of blessing.