I Am Female

I am beautiful
But I am not confident
I am talented
But I don't believe the compliments

My eyes they sparkle
But not back at me
My figure is ideal
But not from what I see

I am very loving
But I hate myself
I want to help others
But I don't deserve any help

I am a shining light
But my thoughts are dark
I have soft, clear skin
But I cut it leaving marks

My voice can sing on tune
But it cries alone at night
My mind is learned and smart
But too weak to win this fight

I could make it far in life
But I'm hardly living here
I have so much potential
But it's clouded up with fear

He loves my body
But I hate it
He lusts for it
I let him abuse it

I deserve respect
But I don't think so
I should be a princess
But I'll let him call me a hoe

I smile in public
I cry at home
I do my hair for school
I slit my wrists when alone

I want your help
But I'm afraid to ask
I want you to see me for me
And look beyond my mask

'Cause I'm falling apart
And feel that I'm stuck
So please, take a second to look
And help me to get up.

... thank you.


















©Shelley Marie 2011
This was a spontaneous poem composed from experience, bad memories, and my battle with depression. I wanted to reach out to any one else who has ever felt this way. It is not a poem that lines up with what I usually post, it was a release and this made me nervous about posting it. But I hope it speaks to whoever it needs to.