Angry death

My mother passed away in a hospital. Bleeding from every organ and body filling with fluid as each moment passed. For a week she was in the hospital unconscious. She was only 64 turning 65. I am only 20 turning 21. My tears were for joy because she had a life with no more illness. Little did I know I'd lose everything. Friends and a dear mother is what I'd lost and I gained financial struggle and sadness. I miss her and want her back. It's been almost 8 months.

Then today my sister died in a car wreck. Car completely dismantled and torn to shreds, she died on impact. She was a breast cancer survivor for 8 years. Why take everything I have away? I feel as though I have no hope in my future. A nobly with no money or a clear standing ground. I wana wake from this dream and be better.