deepundergroundpoetry.com
Introvert
I flicked the switch,
sweeping aside iron curtains;
skulls held captive in the Bronze Age
swiveled towards intrinsic minds.
Mouth sealed silent opened wide
to release guarded thoughts
kindled wild.
Armies of the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought.
Introverted tides order for their
white horses to retreat,
foaming at the mouth.
Turbulent voices claim land,
without a first or second thought.
I plead equality on the side lines,
yet the air doesn't seem to
accept my sound vibrations;
passing me a white flag
in sympathy.
The iron curtains swing
back into place,
as sallow cloths burn to
ashes for the final time.
sweeping aside iron curtains;
skulls held captive in the Bronze Age
swiveled towards intrinsic minds.
Mouth sealed silent opened wide
to release guarded thoughts
kindled wild.
Armies of the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought.
Introverted tides order for their
white horses to retreat,
foaming at the mouth.
Turbulent voices claim land,
without a first or second thought.
I plead equality on the side lines,
yet the air doesn't seem to
accept my sound vibrations;
passing me a white flag
in sympathy.
The iron curtains swing
back into place,
as sallow cloths burn to
ashes for the final time.
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likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 21
reads 149
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Introvert
i would have liked to have seen a lil more incorporation of metal references scribbs. not to beat a dead horse but just consistancy from the strong opening with it.
i still like but a lil revision i think could tighten it right up miss...
none the less. well done scribbs!!!
sorry i hate critiquing but would feel even more like a tool if i just gave fuckaroo smily faces......
i still like but a lil revision i think could tighten it right up miss...
none the less. well done scribbs!!!
sorry i hate critiquing but would feel even more like a tool if i just gave fuckaroo smily faces......
1
re: Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 7:30pm
Appreciate the critique, i'll look over it.
Smiley faces aren't expected,
I do like things to improve on;
it all goes towards improvement.
Thank you for commenting, sir.
Smiley faces aren't expected,
I do like things to improve on;
it all goes towards improvement.
Thank you for commenting, sir.
Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 7:20pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:39pm
25th Feb 2013 7:28pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 7:32pm
I like the idea of battle, 'tis intriguing.
Thank you for all your commenting,
much appreciated Mourganna :)
Thank you for all your commenting,
much appreciated Mourganna :)
Re: Introvert
Anonymous
25th Feb 2013 9:20pm
oh reticent one, thou art the man that's powerful, who speaks thoughts rather than act them out!
Goodness! This ink is Amazing!
Im sooooo Loving this piece, Scribbler12!:) xo
Goodness! This ink is Amazing!
Im sooooo Loving this piece, Scribbler12!:) xo
1
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2019 9:40pm
26th Feb 2013 2:09pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Introvert
26th Feb 2013 5:33pm
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 11:37am
26th Feb 2013 6:39pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Introvert
26th Feb 2013 6:52pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 00:09am
27th Feb 2013 4:05pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Introvert
3rd Mar 2013 11:59pm
The battle introverts face is a frightening one. As an introvert myself,
"the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought."
And I definitely have
"Introverted tides order[ing] for their
white horses to retreat."
I had to read it twice in order to make sense of some of the images because at first they felt random. The line about claiming land also confused me a little.
However, all in all - after I understood it more - the images make more sense and the "battle" plot has turned into a nice way to imagine the thoughts of an introvert.
"the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought."
And I definitely have
"Introverted tides order[ing] for their
white horses to retreat."
I had to read it twice in order to make sense of some of the images because at first they felt random. The line about claiming land also confused me a little.
However, all in all - after I understood it more - the images make more sense and the "battle" plot has turned into a nice way to imagine the thoughts of an introvert.
1
re: Re: Introvert
4th Mar 2013 6:17am
It took me a while to organize my thoughts on this
one, I wouldn't change being an introvert for
anyone. I enjoy my quiet too much :)
Thank you for your comment :)
one, I wouldn't change being an introvert for
anyone. I enjoy my quiet too much :)
Thank you for your comment :)
re: re: Re: Introvert
4th Mar 2013 6:41am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 7:37pm
9th Apr 2013 11:48am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Introvert
9th Apr 2013 12:21pm