deepundergroundpoetry.com
Free Falling
All I know
is when the wind blew
it knocked me off my branch
I fell slow
and cried out for mother
to intervene
brushed
off my brothers
and tried to grab a hold
but my leaves
had lost their glow
gone cold
dead wood
heading towards the snow
no good
the weak link
and I think that mother
had already let go
from the get go
so all I know
is that it's fucking cold
in this snow
that's took the breath of me
and it won't be too long
'fore it's the death of me
or the birth
of a new
tree
is when the wind blew
it knocked me off my branch
I fell slow
and cried out for mother
to intervene
brushed
off my brothers
and tried to grab a hold
but my leaves
had lost their glow
gone cold
dead wood
heading towards the snow
no good
the weak link
and I think that mother
had already let go
from the get go
so all I know
is that it's fucking cold
in this snow
that's took the breath of me
and it won't be too long
'fore it's the death of me
or the birth
of a new
tree
Written by
lepperochan
(CraicDealer)
Published 20th Feb 2013
| Edited 21st Feb 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 0
comments 30
reads 257
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Free Falling
20th Feb 2013 2:12am
It will be the damn death of me too I swear it. I can't deal anymore stupid snow
Nice poem btw
Nice poem btw
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re: Re: Free Falling
20th Feb 2013 9:51am
ahh Gigi me ol' flower
glad you liked this little write.
thank you kindly for the visit and words.
glad you liked this little write.
thank you kindly for the visit and words.
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 10:05pm
20th Feb 2013 4:19am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
20th Feb 2013 9:52am
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 11:37am
20th Feb 2013 6:45am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
20th Feb 2013 9:57am
T.S
brilliant punning ... you mean punderful, say it ..SAY IT!
ah, I s'pose there's a few angles on the mother , depending on which way you wanna look at it. ..apathy , Que Serra Serra, or just plain cunt-ish
.. or any other way too
took out that line altogether, thanks for the spot though.
most kind of you to be dropping in and drinking up these words T.S.
brilliant punning ... you mean punderful, say it ..SAY IT!
ah, I s'pose there's a few angles on the mother , depending on which way you wanna look at it. ..apathy , Que Serra Serra, or just plain cunt-ish
.. or any other way too
took out that line altogether, thanks for the spot though.
most kind of you to be dropping in and drinking up these words T.S.
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 11:37am
20th Feb 2013 1:12pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
Anonymous
- Edited 16th Sep 2020 7:37pm
20th Feb 2013 10:09am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
20th Feb 2013 10:45pm
Missy,
you're not wrong. It was hard trying to get an undertone in there 'cos of the scheme I was trying out so, happy it's coming across.
metaphor is a great little ditty to play around with, I like seeing the different interps.
appreciate your dropping in here Missy, thank you kindly.
you're not wrong. It was hard trying to get an undertone in there 'cos of the scheme I was trying out so, happy it's coming across.
metaphor is a great little ditty to play around with, I like seeing the different interps.
appreciate your dropping in here Missy, thank you kindly.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 7:52pm
20th Feb 2013 11:50am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
21st Feb 2013 1:06am
Mikki
yeah, there is a fair bit here between tha lines , fair play for catching that.
Cheers for the vist and kind words Miki
yeah, there is a fair bit here between tha lines , fair play for catching that.
Cheers for the vist and kind words Miki
Anonymous
- Edited 2nd Sep 2019 11:35pm
20th Feb 2013 12:43pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
21st Feb 2013 4:12am
Al, me ol' shagosa
ahh, liking your interp man, shame 'bout life's little testings. you pulled through, that's the main thing.
thank you kindly for the words Al.
ahh, liking your interp man, shame 'bout life's little testings. you pulled through, that's the main thing.
thank you kindly for the words Al.
Re: Free Falling
20th Feb 2013 1:11pm
Craic, I really like the structure of this one, and as I read it actually felt the free fall from branch to snow...
Like it.
:)
Like it.
:)
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re: Re: Free Falling
21st Feb 2013 4:14am
Atakti
Took a leaf outta a friends book and threw this one together in a relatively short space of time, happy the structure works for you.
cheers for dropping in and leaving your footprint.
Took a leaf outta a friends book and threw this one together in a relatively short space of time, happy the structure works for you.
cheers for dropping in and leaving your footprint.
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2019 1:37am
21st Feb 2013 3:13am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
Indie me ol' pork chop
It was never gonna work for everybody, what with the rhyming scheme and such.
I agree totally on the phrase you picked out, this particular poem, given it's roots, was always going to have a level of ambiguous-ness to it.
I shall try harder next time to woo you with word smith-ar-ies
edit: ok when you single out them two lines like that I can see what way you are thinking ...my god Indie get your mind out of the bleedin gutter :P
yeah, I'll try think of a better way to say what I am trying to say.
really appreciate you're candor and honesty my friend.
thank you kindly.
It was never gonna work for everybody, what with the rhyming scheme and such.
I agree totally on the phrase you picked out, this particular poem, given it's roots, was always going to have a level of ambiguous-ness to it.
I shall try harder next time to woo you with word smith-ar-ies
edit: ok when you single out them two lines like that I can see what way you are thinking ...my god Indie get your mind out of the bleedin gutter :P
yeah, I'll try think of a better way to say what I am trying to say.
really appreciate you're candor and honesty my friend.
thank you kindly.
Re: Free Falling
21st Feb 2013 12:55pm
I liked the ambiguity and the fact that you left some spaces open for the readers own personal interpretation.
Nice penning!
Nice penning!
0
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re: Re: Free Falling
21st Feb 2013 1:18pm
Low-lah
Thank you, yeah, I think in general people like to be left with a small bit of lee way to interp, helps us to relate that little bit more. I s'pose the hard part is finding the right balance between clarity and ambiguity.
Cheers for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
Thank you, yeah, I think in general people like to be left with a small bit of lee way to interp, helps us to relate that little bit more. I s'pose the hard part is finding the right balance between clarity and ambiguity.
Cheers for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
Re: Free Falling
22nd Feb 2013 00:53am
re: Re: Free Falling
22nd Feb 2013 1:02am
mjith,
welcome to the DU, and thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts. may your stay be fruitful.
welcome to the DU, and thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts. may your stay be fruitful.
re: re: Re: Free Falling
22nd Feb 2013 2:53am
Re: Free Falling
24th Feb 2013 2:44am
i like the flow,structure and more importantly the meaning within Craic. def like this style from you man.
well done sir....
well done sir....
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Re: Free Falling
24th Feb 2013 3:29am
Jon .
Delighted to have our eyes man . Thank you kindly for the visit and words . Much appreciated.
Delighted to have our eyes man . Thank you kindly for the visit and words . Much appreciated.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st May 2018 7:36pm
10th Mar 2013 5:31am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Free Falling
28th May 2013 1:44am
Devlin
shit, terrible sorry for missing your comment.
ah yes, This one was a written in a couple of minutes, I was really surprised at how it was received.
thanks you much for your visit and words, I do appreciate it.
shit, terrible sorry for missing your comment.
ah yes, This one was a written in a couple of minutes, I was really surprised at how it was received.
thanks you much for your visit and words, I do appreciate it.
Re: Free Falling
28th May 2013 1:09am
re: Re: Free Falling
28th May 2013 1:55am
Tommie,
well thanks, happy you loved it.
thanks for the visit and words missus
well thanks, happy you loved it.
thanks for the visit and words missus
Re: Free Falling
19th Jul 2013 3:58am
re: Re: Free Falling
19th Jul 2013 4:50am
GBLJ09712
welcome to this place, and thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
welcome to this place, and thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts