I Ruin Perfection

You, sitting there, is more
Perfect than I can explain.
Sitting on the steps talking
To everyone around you, I
Just wanted to sit by you
And lean my head on your
Shoulder but I can't. You won't
Support me anymore.

It's not like you were glowing,
My eyes don't deceive me,
But your presence is a hell of
A lot different than I remember
It being. You even looked at me
With something other than
Betrayal in your eyes. You looked
Almost happy.

You even asked me how I
Was, like a fucking gentleman,
But all I told you was "I'm tired."
I didn't even ask how you were,
Like an inconsiderate bitch. But,
I suppose, that's just what I have
Always been to you.

I'm always breaking
You to pieces and I don't have a
Fucking clue why. You told me
You thought the only reason I
Was with you in the first place was
For attention. For affection.

You're right, but it wasn't just anyone's
Attention I was looking for. It
Was yours. It was your affection
That I wanted. I guess I could not
Give enough of myself for you
To stay. So, you left. You asked
Her to watch your stuff and said
"I'll be right back."

When you finally did come back,
Seemingly an eternity later, you
Just grabbed your stuff and went
To go sit over by your other friends,
Without a single fucking word to us,
Like we weren't good enough. Well,
I suppose I'm not. I suppose you
Deserve better than me.

I know what I did was wrong. I
Just, I just had a moment of
Weakness. Is there anything
I can do to gain your forgiveness?
I just want things to go back to
The way they were.

I just wish you would smile at
Me the way you used to. I
Wish I could be perfect for you.
I would do anything to be the
Girl you thought I was. Well,
The truth is that I will never be
Her. I am me.

And your perfect self would
Never need a piece of trash like
Me to ruin you. Again. If I really
Cared, I would leave you alone.
I'm just not strong enough to do
Any fucking thing right. All I can
Do is taint everything good
In this world.

I should probably just end it.
I don't want you to have to
Suffer anymore because all I
Do is hurt you. I just want
Everything to stop. I never wanted
To die until I first hurt you. I
Had never even thought about it.

All I want is to stop ruining
You. It's all that I fucking do
To you. I love you, and I want
To be there for you, but I can't
Even save myself. I don't think
I have anything left to save.
I'm fucking garbage.

So, please. Please don't go.
Please don't walk away from me.
Please stay. I swear to god I'll
Do whatever it takes. I will make
Mistakes, and my heart will break,
But these scars I will take because
I will do anything to make you
Happy again.