Change What is to Come

It’s strange how a few short seconds can lead you in a whole new direction,  
It alters how you think and act, and see your own reflection.  
From a single moment on, my life was forever changed.  
Like everything I previously knew had suddenly been rearranged.  
 
No one will ever understand, just how I felt that day,  
But deep within this poem I shall try to convey.  
I cannot even begin to illustrate the repulsive person I once knew.  
I intend to simply express the horror that I went through.  
 
I was abruptly pinned against the wall of a hard, rough concrete stairwell,  
At two AM, in Mexico, where not a soul was likely to dwell.  
Suddenly I was captured, no possible way to escape.  
Wondering if I deserved it, if it was truly my fate.  
 
Not knowing what to do; tears forming in my eyes.  
They got pulled down my face by gravity as I began to fiercely cry.  
The moist and humid air steadily crept all over me,  
Scented like fresh, tropical flowers; mixed with smells of sweet palm trees.  
 
I said that I would scream, if he didn’t stop right now.  
Then he quickly sealed my lips with his hand over my mouth.  
He started to undress me, and do things I cannot say.  
Never before had I been in a situation that has made me feel quite that way.  
 
Tears like elegant pearls gracefully danced down my face,  
I peered into his soul with a firm look of disgrace.  
His cold touch like a vacuum, sucking out the life in me.  
His ears were wide open, but he wouldn't hear my plea.  
 
"Shhh! Be quiet! Enjoy!" he whispered foully in my ear.  
"Shut up, stay still! Don't scream!" he became my biggest fear.  
In an instant, I was frozen; in a blink, my shorts unzipped,  
As he proceeded my mouth was tightly enclosed in his harsh grip  
 
I tried to fly away, but my wings he had broke.  
I was like an innocent cow, that he used to prod and poke.  
My mind filled with confusion, and his, filled with lust.  
He took another part of me with each and every thrust.  
 
Standing there in the night, so scared, so exposed.  
I was covered by a veil of darkness, like satin petals of a rose.  
I was no longer a human, but a piece of flesh, an object.  
Never before had I endured so much disrespect.  
 
Interesting noises of the jungle, insects singing in the night.  
Going on with their usual routine, oblivious to my fright.  
A few minutes seemed like hours, the clock stopped its tick,  
My heart ceased its beating, my stomach as heavy as a brick.  
 
I managed to let out a few ghostly screams, but nobody was around to hear.  
Wishing that he would stop and go away, or somehow just disappear.  
The glowing moon looked down at me, peaking through a massive blanket of stars.  
I could touch it; it seemed so close, but it was really oh so far.  
 
The people around him have no clue what he’s done,  
But the guilt in his heart has nowhere to run.  
Congratulations to him, he’s fooled his family and friends.  
But shame on him for stealing things that I can't get back again.  
 
I think about what could have been, ten tiny fingers and toes,  
A single, lethal touch makes me rapidly decompose.  
Beautiful, big brown eyes that hypnotize me with one look.  
My strength, my will, my hope... but that's not all that he took.  
 
Worse than at the doctor; he injected me with filth and dirt.  
His intention was deliberate; it was very clear and overt.  
It is a bit funny, that a piece of scum is all he’ll ever be,  
And the only thing that he accomplished in doing in life—is me.  
 
Almost every other feeling gets overshadowed by pain,  
I can't help but believe that I am the only one to blame.  
There are so many people, yet I feel so alone,  
I’m in a warm, loving house, but it doesn't feel like a home.  
 
Sometimes late at night I simply can't fall asleep,  
Thinking about how my innocence is no longer mine to keep.  
What some can only imagine in their worst possible nightmare,  
Is my gruesome reality that can’t be undone nor repaired.  
 
My weak, tired eyes are now suffering a drought,  
There is only one thing that I can think about.  
One night, a half hour, a mere moment in time,  
But for some reason these thoughts constantly occupy my mind.  
 
I may have the sweetest smile, glowing between my nose and chin.  
But only I know the truth, about the deep secrets held within.  
I may have the prettiest eyes that have seen more than they should.  
And have cried more delicate tears than anyone else ever could.  
 
I may have the kindest heart, but that came with a cost.  
It has felt the worst of pains, and experienced the greatest loss.  
I cannot change the past, an event to which I succumbed.  
But I can focus on the present, and change what is to come.  
 
We are all so different, and yet so much the same.  
Everyone, in some way or another, will experience a kind of pain.  
Everybody has things that they wish not to recall,  
Into each life some rain must fall.  
 
We can’t always protect the ones we love and keep them safe and sound,
But we can be there to pick them up, once they’ve fallen down.
As much as we want to hold on, we need to let them go,
Because they can’t learn from your mistakes, they need to learn alone.
 
In the moments that we suffer, we don't realize how much we hurt.  
It is only after the matter, that we are aware and alert.  
At the time, your mind turns numb, you simply cannot comprehend,  
It will take a long, long while, for your heart to fully mend.  
 
Scattered throughout our lives, like a friend that is one of a kind.  
Dreary days will steadily approach, bad memories trailing behind.  
These dark days are necessary, just as important as the rest.  
For if we didn't have the worst, we couldn't recognize the best.