deepundergroundpoetry.com
The new Lullaby Idea (Help)
When the day is dark,
And all hope is gone.
The Sun with rise;
Bringing a new dawn.
The world is safe.
The terrors are quelled.
The light will protect
All of the world.
When the light falls;
The pitch black will reign.
Light is still alive;
For those who came.
We call out the light
To bring hope renewed.
Darkness will rise;
Then it will lose. x3
I like this one the best, what do you guys think?
And all hope is gone.
The Sun with rise;
Bringing a new dawn.
The world is safe.
The terrors are quelled.
The light will protect
All of the world.
When the light falls;
The pitch black will reign.
Light is still alive;
For those who came.
We call out the light
To bring hope renewed.
Darkness will rise;
Then it will lose. x3
I like this one the best, what do you guys think?
Published 24th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 94
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jan 2013 4:32am
Anonymous
- Edited 16th Sep 2020 7:37pm
24th Jan 2013 1:36pm
<< post removed >>
25th Jan 2013 4:51am
I'm trying to go with how light will conquer the dark. I guess it might need some work, maybe a new stanza.
29th Jan 2013 4:12pm
I like this one! I think that to get the message of light conquering, you may want to capitalize Light whenever it's used, to show it's superiority to the darkness. But I love the message!
18th Jun 2013 5:56am
