deepundergroundpoetry.com

Might As Well Get This Out

Before it burrows itself into my cells.
It was all so filthy,
all the time.
Every hug from behind,
or kiss on my lips.
Every time our lips touched, I could feel you
kissing someone else.
I have never felt more like a machine than I did that evening
on that mattress,
on that floor,
in that room,
under those sheets,
by that window,
underneath that ceiling,
next to
you.
I hate not being clothed,
but you made me lie bare anyways.
I was so cold.
It was systemic-
starting in my heart,
seething through my veins..
it lasted the whole night.
I was all but two inches away from you,
but I couldn�t have been farther.
From you,
myself,
God.
I became a machine that night.
I read you well.
You showed me what you wanted.
And I endlessly gave.
Will I ever grow enough heart to say, �No�?
But I still thought it would be ok,
I thought that would make me feel better.
Anything to prove I could be just as much of a man as
the sad excuse for m[/font]en in my life.[/font]