Chewing the Ghost with My Geisha

Happy anniversary, Koishii.
Naturally, I'd like us to fuck
the first time we meet,
a kind of head on smash
that shuts the Osaka freeway
permanently in both directions
to compensate for all the humpertunities
we know we've both missed up to now.

And if I'm ruthlessly honest,
my own low threshold for sexual abstinence
(it's the way I was made)
means I can only stand so much
ooh-ah ping-pong mailing
in any meaningful relationship.

Otherwise I might wake one afternoon
squeezing sushi through the eye of my dick,
for any cheap horror blue eye blonde
dangling a dippy line into my mailbox.
Truth is, I'm getting scared
this baby might shrink to beyond impossible,
although I always throb like a whitlow
imagining you in your peephole kimono,
rubbing me up and down
with those dainty little feet...
soft and hard,
soft and hard,
then fast and slow.

But right now I'm frantically counting
testicles,
obsessing over my two shrivelled lemons
swinging lonesome through cyberspace,
praying they wont suddenly implode
before the maw of a horny OCD wormhole
is sent by God to gobble them up for good.

One more celibate night
and I'll be bored stiffer
than the stains on your panties.
It turned out sending that selection
to sniff in my sleep
wasn't such a comfort after all.
I'm prone to snore while I dream,
so there's always a risk I might suffocate,
choke to death, or strangle myself
on all your perilously silky elastic
and I'd hate to leave you
before our flesh ever got to meet.

I've told you already,
I'm undecided about the beard.
You understand how it was too long
to fit completely in my pic.
It's been that way since '93,
but if you think it ought to go,
then it's really no problemo...
although I did once hanker with the notion
of using the ends long distance
to tease a gush or two from your clit.

And on the subject of hair, Koishii,
I'm sticky for one basic requirement
regarding your own personal equipment
vis-à-vis the field below.
It's a definite NO to bald pussy I'm afraid.
Aside from a teenzy trim with the nail scissors
I really do prefer things the way yummy nature intended.
So however tight you may claim to be
(I don't know how else to say this)
the myth of  increased sensation
is nothing more than tacky third rate propaganda
concocted by crazy Hollywood wannabes
probably all suffering from a savage bout of the crabs.

So please, don't do it.
Shaving your pussy
could only ever remind me
of all the bimbos I used to blow with,
before I got lucky,
and stumbled over your profile
discovering the true meaning of love online,
exactly a year ago today.