Inspired Retired

This is for you Uley ;-)

The eye sight's weak the knees both creek
The ears don’t work hardly hear you speak
Not much energy any more
But don't go thinking life's a chore
Hair now gone that once was sleek
And I only manage sex 'bout every other week

I arise each day at the crack of noon
It’s neither too late nor a moment too soon
See I’m retired and nothing’s required
Of me so I am totally, utterly free
No one to please but myself you see

If I sit up all night writing shite (Like this)
My time is mine and it’s quite alright
I’m not up for the daily grind
Left all that bullshit way behind

I talk to the TV talk to the cat
An’ other stupid stuff like that
Hang around in housecoat pair of slippers
Brunch is a plate of steaming kippers
Neighbours say they they’re an awful stink
I don’t give a shit what those arseholes think

Inspired retired and loving it
I get away with all sorts of shit
Like flirting with girls a quarter my age
What a silly old sod the boyfriends rage
I’m clever I never take things too far
Whilst admiring a well filled bra

I imagine them in their birthday suit
Whilst the girls just think the old sod’s cute
My chat-up lines are very cheesy
But flattering girls is very easy
"So this is where you come when you’re not modelling?"
I quip whilst secretly I’m oggling
With brazen nerve every gorgeous curve

Well what the hell we ain’t here forever
So when you retire don’t just sit and sever
Your ties with life and your sense of fun
'Cos really life has just begun
So take your time but do get around
There’s lots of mischief to be found
To drive all gloom out of your head
After all we’re a long time dead! ;-)