At  3a.m. I Took A Ride

At 3a.m. I took a ride…
My heart rate increased at the thought of
what could be. As I drove farther away from
home my heart descended to the pit of my
stomach where it chose to reside.

At 3a.m. I took a ride…
While driving the flat screen of my mind played
Movies “what if’s”. The possibilities became like
African Warrior drummer’s playing on my heart.
The pressure of fear weighed on my bowels.
I say to myself “be strong we’ve been here before.”

At 3a.m. I took a ride…
I’m a half mile away my destination! I’m nervous!
My heart has betrayed me!
I prayed “Dear Lord please don’t let the possibility
become my reality.” I am nearing my destination…
tears are in the duct of my eyes preparing there march.
Again, I say “baby be strong.”
I am 3 blocks away from my destination…
I want to stop! Turn around and go home!  But I can’t!
I’ve come this far!  I have to know… I GOTTA KNOW!
I’m a few feet away… I inhale then hold it.
I have reached my destination. My inhalation, still holding.
I look… slowly my inhalation turn into exhalation. I drove
to another side to take a look from a different angle.
My exhalation completed.
As I drove home I noticed stores and buildings I hadn’t notice
before and I smiled.