Dealing with god

Even when she is not around
I can still feel her touch.
But I must hold on a little longer
Even if it is to much.

Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem.
(Blessed is the man who endures temptation)

I must endure this inner struggle.
And find my way out of this madness.
For I will be rewarded.
There comes an end to the sadness

Accpiet coronam vitae.
(He shall receive the crown of life)

I'm not blessed with life.
That's no solution for me.
I hope he will make it end.
So I will be finally free.

Eleison.
(Have mercy)

God I'm very sorry.
But I can't go on any longer.
This life has cursed me.
And the knife was stronger

Et lingua eius loquetur iudicium.
(And his tongue shall speak judgment)