I love you But Not really (he says)

“Hi Sweetness”    
   
Let me pull you in close    
so I can look into those eyes    
   
Let my hand glide across your    
porcelain neck...soft as a doves feather    
   
So I can throw you into that oncoming    
train...and watch you lay there and bleed    
   
Watching the mutilation of your body once whole    
while it lays there thrashing against the stone    
   
You're still screaming the “I love you body, mind    
and soul” and my eyes tear while I tell you that    
you are the one that holds my heart still...    
   
(Baby, if I held your heart you would have    
fucking not flailed me into this immeasurable    
pain of the unseen, train)    
   
Did you stop once and think about me?    
Did you try to pull me from the track?    
   
No...my friends showed up two days later    
after my son called them crying    
   
'They' pulled me out of bed and into the    
steaming hot shower    
   
'They' washed my hair while I lay on    
the tub floor curled up like a fucking baby    
   
'They' pulled me out, wrapped me in warm    
blankets and forced water to my lips    
   
When I tell you that you hold my heart    
in your hands.. I fucking mean what I say    
   
YOU...    
   
You walked away...    
   
I hope when you kissed her you cried    
not from passion but for the deep seeded    
hunger for my lips    
   
I hope the scent of her was still of that “other”    
man she fucked...you remember, right?    
   
I hope she tasted like a fucking raunchy seafood platter    
and you had to choke it down    
   
Your cock...hard for me for months    
I hope went limp feeling the betrayal    
   
Why betrayal?  Because you know    
you wished it was me....    
   
I want you to feel my “fuck you” to the core    
as much as you've felt it when I've said “I love you”.    
   
Did you ever once think of me in all this...just once?    
   
You will always be lonely...and she will never be me