A good ol' "gather round" suicide

Hear ye, hear ye. Gather in closely.
Ive finally done it, well kindof mostly
The decision was made just now this minute
If dying was a race, by golly, I'd win it

Hear ye, hear ye. Gather up near me
Closer, closer.  Be sure you can see.
the decision was made ohhhh so recent,
If dying had an award, consider my achievement

Oh yes, oh yes, Its time my guests
Whats that did I hear?..protests? 
No?...no protest, so this time Ill do it...
 No protest? You? No? Ok, screw it.

Thats it! Thats it! Look at it spurt!
Watch out, step back, it got on your shirt.
The decision...was.... made,.but....now ....I
Re......ret...ittttt...................................