deepundergroundpoetry.com
(un)poetic
I am merely too many lonely nights with Jack
and a dry ink pen, drowning in a sea of vertigo.
Too many "fuck you's".
But the little exploding suns in your retinas
scream something fierce,
& these words aren't yet done fucking you.
and a dry ink pen, drowning in a sea of vertigo.
Too many "fuck you's".
But the little exploding suns in your retinas
scream something fierce,
& these words aren't yet done fucking you.
Published 2nd Jan 2013
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likes 3
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comments 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Jan 2013 11:32pm
I am debating if the your, and you in this piece is a bit distracting. But other than that ? I found this entirely poetic :)
Lovely read.
Lovely read.
3rd Jan 2013 00:14am
3rd Jan 2013 00:27am
Actually ...
I would go with her, and me. then the exploding suns become the words, and you are receiving it all. It seems far more effective to me.
See what I mean ? :)
I would go with her, and me. then the exploding suns become the words, and you are receiving it all. It seems far more effective to me.
See what I mean ? :)
3rd Jan 2013 10:15pm
4th Jan 2013 7:23am
