deepundergroundpoetry.com
She's a cold habit..
as she sleeps
her comfort
leaves me breathless
this monster
beside me
inside me
her scent
still serenades
the air
an untamed
paradise of my
favorite poison
a moisturizing malice
so unclean it
seems holy.
she's a cold habit
as she sleeps
her wicked side
settles
fists float
fallacy is forgotten
and
for just a few minutes
i remember why I love her
~n~
how many different ways
i could kill her
as she sleeps
her comfort
leaves me breathless
this monster
beside me
inside me
her scent
still serenades
the air
an untamed
paradise of my
favorite poison
a moisturizing malice
so unclean it
seems holy.
she's a cold habit
as she sleeps
her wicked side
settles
fists float
fallacy is forgotten
and
for just a few minutes
i remember why I love her
~n~
how many different ways
i could kill her
as she sleeps
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 376
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re: She's a cold habit..
1st Jan 2013 10:43pm
Your patience in getting there is breath taking....a matador in a bullring.
0
Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 1:21am
Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 1:40am
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 11:55pm
2nd Jan 2013 2:25am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Apr 2021 9:35am
2nd Jan 2013 2:37am
<< post removed >>
re: yes, d...
2nd Jan 2013 2:44am
Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 6:06pm
Baby girl
I have read this several times since you posted it. I won't lie. Your structuring bugs me sometimes, but... lol
It does NOT weaken your voice !
Here is some unsolicited advice. ;)
Get your ass to a writing class, because you Sweet Pea have what it takes to get published.
I am serious ! :)
I have read this several times since you posted it. I won't lie. Your structuring bugs me sometimes, but... lol
It does NOT weaken your voice !
Here is some unsolicited advice. ;)
Get your ass to a writing class, because you Sweet Pea have what it takes to get published.
I am serious ! :)
0
Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 6:18pm
So it's a yes to mud wrestling? meet me in the back in 5 minutes gotta get my gin.. lol. Thank you Maggie. i don't know how to structure my shit i've tried it all and actually i graduated a poetry college 10 week course with a 92% the other 8 went to spelling and structure.. lol. honestly say for instance the lines
a moisturizing malice
so unclean it
seems holy. that is a breath.. then shes a cold habit that is a breath and then as she sleeps a breath so i try to break up the breaths to fuck i lost what i was trying to say i should also take an attention span class cause just that fast i lost my thought. lol sorry
a moisturizing malice
so unclean it
seems holy. that is a breath.. then shes a cold habit that is a breath and then as she sleeps a breath so i try to break up the breaths to fuck i lost what i was trying to say i should also take an attention span class cause just that fast i lost my thought. lol sorry
re: Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 6:27pm
*chuckles*
Then my darlin single mommy, take your butt to a university, and start looking into grants that will send you full time to university. Seriously, I have worked my ass off for a very long time to just call myself competent. I have never had your natural talent, and never will.
And if I can get myself published(and I have, more than once)? You Sweetheart can easily be paid for a book.
I am not one bit kidding here.
Fuck people who think you are perverted, or too hard, etc. There is a fine list of writers who have came before you who have paved the way.
Walk the road... :)
Then my darlin single mommy, take your butt to a university, and start looking into grants that will send you full time to university. Seriously, I have worked my ass off for a very long time to just call myself competent. I have never had your natural talent, and never will.
And if I can get myself published(and I have, more than once)? You Sweetheart can easily be paid for a book.
I am not one bit kidding here.
Fuck people who think you are perverted, or too hard, etc. There is a fine list of writers who have came before you who have paved the way.
Walk the road... :)
0
Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 6:34pm
WOW! Thank you. i dont know what to say to your kindness and encouragement i am not used to it especially a woman except miss subb. thank you both. i appreciate it. oh speaking about books i wonder how my new vagina would look on the cover... =)
re: Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 6:39pm
It isn't kindness. It is fact ;)
And ? Read the play " The Vagina Monologues "
Fabulous bit of work, right up your alley. Speaking of vaginas. lol Nah... Do a Maplethorpe. Go for the asshole. lol ;)
And ? Read the play " The Vagina Monologues "
Fabulous bit of work, right up your alley. Speaking of vaginas. lol Nah... Do a Maplethorpe. Go for the asshole. lol ;)
0
Re: She's a cold habit..
2nd Jan 2013 6:44pm
Re: She's a cold habit..
3rd Jan 2013 6:52am
The "only thing that is building is your honesty." We usually want to kill the people (so damned demanding, they are)we say we love. I find your poem refreshing and mature.
marcella1
marcella1
0
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
8th Jan 2013 7:08pm
<< post removed >>
Re: She's a cold habit..
22nd Jan 2013 8:30am
Re: She's a cold habit..
9th Oct 2013 00:15am
I think this is still one of your very best. This one reminds me of my ex in a few ways. Murder was considered more than once. I always fancied making it look like an accident, perhaps she could fall off a bridge or somethin'. You grow. Hello there, Dev :)
0