Shower

standing under the hot spray
that normally never feels hot enough.
but tonight its burning on my skin
like an acid rain.
my head is pounding with my heart
and i just hurt.
i don't want to move.

my shampoos scent makes me gag
so i just stop trying.
my stubborn personaility tells me
i can't just stand there.
i grab my razor to shave but
i end up nicking myself.
cutting used to feel good
but the sight of my blood.....
it sends me over the edge.

i end up on the floor vomiting
a thin watery substance.
the water pounds into my back
as i violently upchuck.
a few minutes later i just
continusly heave and cough.
my nose burns and my
throat aches.
with my last bits of strength
i shut off the shower.
i curl into a ball.

hours later i wake up only
to scramble to the toliet.
my stomach must be
empty by now.
i shake as i stumble to
my bedroom.
collapsing onto my bed
i cover myself for decency.
i sleep a fitful sleep.