Was I really there

before i sleep
my stomach turns
and its in pain
thoughts are dancing
around my head
taunting me
making me feel
unworthy and lonely
the blackness overcomes
my eyes
and I drift away into
a very dark and cold
tunnel
I scream out in my head
hello anyone there
is anyone there
i hear a water drop
and in the end of the tunnel

a faint light slowly
arises into a familiar
room
it is black and white
haziness surrounds
it like an old
photo

as im getting closer
with each step i take
i see a bed and pictures
surrounding the wall
i see a face as i get
very close

she is neither awake nor
asleep i cant tell
she seems sad
and concerned
and when i look to
my left
i see a younger self
of her a baby
with joy and happiness
in its eyes moving its
head side to side
giggling laughing at
me

when i look back at her
i begin to disappear
i feel claustrophobic
everything is starting
to close in on me
im moving more and more
away
the black hazy shadows
begin to cover my face
I then realize now
that im an observer
from the outside.