deepundergroundpoetry.com
Arms and the Man I sing?
"The sweet piano writing down my life"
Contends the peaks, the sweeter pinnacle,
For where, in notes, lies ever-ardent strife,
And where, in strife, the gath'ring orchestral?
The languid violin, its solemn song,
It seems at odds with darkling, fog-robed heath.
Where fits the violin on journeys long,
And where, amongst its song, sing swords unsheathed?
The solemn song on tongues of heroes lies,
The rousing chorus in the ardent quest,
For where, but under wanderlust-filled skies
Could such a hallowed inspiration rest?
Contends the peaks, the sweeter pinnacle,
For where, in notes, lies ever-ardent strife,
And where, in strife, the gath'ring orchestral?
The languid violin, its solemn song,
It seems at odds with darkling, fog-robed heath.
Where fits the violin on journeys long,
And where, amongst its song, sing swords unsheathed?
The solemn song on tongues of heroes lies,
The rousing chorus in the ardent quest,
For where, but under wanderlust-filled skies
Could such a hallowed inspiration rest?
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Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
13th Jul 2010 7:42pm
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13th Jul 2010 10:42pm
Thank you. I originally set this out as a sonnet (in iambic pentametre, no less!), but found myself at the conclusion before I'd reached the couplet, leaving it slightly truncated.
Unfortunately, I cannot agree with your concluding assertion, however. Indeed, I would instead argue that the frequency with which thoroughly considered and crafted poetry finds its way onto the internet is, and has always been, fairly consistent. What creates the impression of its decline is the relative levels of... other... poetry that occupy the same space.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
14th Jul 2010 9:56pm
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14th Jul 2010 10:20pm
Perhaps, not so much nothing to express, but no aptitude for expressing it? Either way, I don't have a problem with bad poets; we were all one once. Its the overwhelming resistance to being taught things, and in doing so, improving, that vexes me. I'll never understand how people with such a professed lack of faith in their own writings skills can so vehemently refuse to shange their techniques or approaches. I've been trying to encourage the adoption of verse amongst various internet poetry outlets for as long as I can remember, and despite the central role verse plays in almost all recognised and celebrated poetry, people still believe that their determination to be "different" will outweigh the millenia of evidencethat suggests verse=good. Perhaps it's just hard to learn?
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
14th Jul 2010 10:45pm
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14th Jul 2010 11:45pm
When I say verse, I solely refer to the observation of your metre. But yes, it does, in sentiment, reflect my shared dismay at the laziness of poetry these days. While I'm not fanatical about form; as indeed you could tell from my submissions, which obey no strict established form, I very rarely encounter a piece of free-verse that I consider poetry, barring eastern forms (haikus and the such), for obvious reasons.
What's worse though, is the number of opportunities poets miss, and indeed, deprive themselves of, by not utilizing verse. Quite frequently, a metrical deviation or substitution is exactly the tool you need to employ to convey whatever mood or concept it is that you are writing on, which your syntax or lexis simply cannot reach.
I am under assumption that you are the previous commenter, though correct me if I'm wrong.
EDIT: Now they're all you. How did you do that?
What's worse though, is the number of opportunities poets miss, and indeed, deprive themselves of, by not utilizing verse. Quite frequently, a metrical deviation or substitution is exactly the tool you need to employ to convey whatever mood or concept it is that you are writing on, which your syntax or lexis simply cannot reach.
I am under assumption that you are the previous commenter, though correct me if I'm wrong.
EDIT: Now they're all you. How did you do that?
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
15th Jul 2010 1:35am
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15th Jul 2010 1:53am
No, I've not read him. I shall have to look him up.
Quite contrarily though, a rigid metre goes lengths to strengthening a poem of any tone. Take Blake's "The Tyger", or my own "Ruins and Remains for example; in both, the trochaic metre hammers the immediacy of the situation into the reader, moreso in Blake's, for the masculine endings, another metrical adaption. On the other hand, you have Frost's "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening", where the concluding couplets' phyrric termini relax the reader and draw a pensive, sombre conclusion.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
15th Jul 2010 2:07am
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15th Jul 2010 11:50pm
Seems to me like he'd be better off writing it in longer horizontal lines, using capital letters, and calling it prose. It's not bad prose, it's just harder to read when it goes further downwards than sideways.
No, it wouldn't. Most allusions to metre fall on entirely deaf ears. Basically, metre is the poetically correct way (in occidental poetry, at least) of measuring out the rhythmns in verse. The act of doing so is called scansion, hence why lines can be described as "scanning well" if the metre is particularly fitting, or fluent. The basics consist of splitting a line of poetry into feet, each containing either two or three syllables. These feet can be (most commonly) iambic, which is an unstressed syllable, followed by a stressed syllable (as in "control"), a trochee, which is the opposite; stressed->unstressed (as in "patter"), a dactyl, which is stressed, unstressed, unstressed (as in "foolishly"), or an anapest, which is unstressed, unstressed, stressed (as in "mountaineer"). Less common feet are phyrric (unstressed, unstressed) and spondaic (stressed, stressed). Finding example words for these is very difficult, as they are rare, and almost all are repeat-syllables, like murmur, whose stress is relative to the surrounding syllables.
The best way to tell if you've scanned a line correctly (which some people have trouble telling) is to try and read it with every syllable stressed the opposite of what you thought. If it sounds totally alien and absurd, you probably had them right in the first place.
The principle advantages of metre are less overt than those of say, caesura or zeugma, but they subconciously affect the reader's impression of your poem nonetheless, and metrical tact is what usually sets the mediocre poets apart from the brilliant.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
16th Jul 2010 00:25am
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16th Jul 2010 00:31am
Aye, aesthetics don't tend to age well, which is an awful shame. I mean, I prefer S. T. Coleridge to Virgil any day, but even with only a GCSE in Latin, I could tell you that the quality of Virgil's poetry far exceeds Coleridge's. It's just aged so far that I can't appreciate it (though aged into a different language is probably something of an extreme case).
Beautiful
26th Jul 2010 10:44am
I really love the language used in this poem! So elegant and reminiscent of another time...
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