Blackness

 It's hard to be happy,it's hard to be open  
 When you're dizzy with anger and your dreams have been crushed  
 Laying on the damp hard ground tears flowing all my fears I can't put to rest  
 I’m broken and lost bound by my own pain  
 I can imagine my spirit leaving my body floating into vast emptiness  
 
At last all I can feel is cold all I see is darkness my mind wonders with racing thoughts  
 Tired of being used as a pawn in the game, feelings of shame  
 realizing I truely am all alone  
 Wondering if I'm unworthy, is a life of bliss not my destiny  
 Why is happiness so hard for me to attain  
 Not knowing how much longer this pain I can bear  
 Descending into madness within myself  
 Heart racing in a frenzy and falling apart in bits and pieces  
 Wishing it would just all end this miserable existence  
 I can’t be free from pains strife, in this life there seems no hope no future  
 I see no light at the end just a black hole with welcoming arms to fall into and be lost and forgotten forever
A whisper I hear "one day this pain will make sense to you"
As I sit here thinking is this a dream or my reality