So Fucking Torn to pieces

Fuck I only wrote Ms filling out a form
Oh how them small words hit me like a fucking storm
Its nearly Christmas,
This time last year he left

I saw him today didnt think id feel this way
As i didnt feel this when i was with him
But now I sit and it totally hit me
Fuck my heart is sore
Its fucking raw
and i thought i was numb

Crying alone self pitiful again
I have to get this out write it as cant fucking shout
I cant complete a simple form
I didnt know I would feel so torn

Oh fuck it Im sad and lonely and dont want to admit this
I want to be strong but cant be for long
and I know i repeat this in everything i write
but i have to realise this shit or feel i will die tonight

ive had enough of feeling and crying
and boring the shit with these poems i write
but if i dont the pain cuts through like a knife

im no longer his fucking wife...
and it hurts
it hurts
so fucking much

what ever is the fuss i hear
he left over a year

i just cannot cope
i sit here and mope
i feel choked
im blubbering again

Oh when the fuck will i forget
im fucking raw and sore and torn to fucking bits...