deepundergroundpoetry.com
I Feel Numb
My heart is still
yet full of fear
I dont know how I feel
Numb
Scared
Brusied
Sore
I seem to have lost my feelings for sure
But something within is trying to get out
But is stuck in this shell of a heart
I dont know where to start
As I write I feel it rising from my heart into my head
its something I may dread
so not ready to deal with it now
gonna have a fag instead
as not sure what it is
or do i...
yet full of fear
I dont know how I feel
Numb
Scared
Brusied
Sore
I seem to have lost my feelings for sure
But something within is trying to get out
But is stuck in this shell of a heart
I dont know where to start
As I write I feel it rising from my heart into my head
its something I may dread
so not ready to deal with it now
gonna have a fag instead
as not sure what it is
or do i...
Published 4th Dec 2012
| Edited 5th Dec 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 107
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Dec 2012 9:29pm
your human everyone has felt like this at some point in their life...
its just a day! tomorrow will be a new one and then a new day after that...
so it will pass :)
its just a day! tomorrow will be a new one and then a new day after that...
so it will pass :)
4th Dec 2012 9:48pm
5th Dec 2012 1:31am
Very nice. And I agree with nikki above. Been there, done that. One comment on the second line of the 4th stanza, "fear" and "dread" is (to me) repetative. I think I understand what you want to say, but maybe just using "dread" will still get your point across (ex. ..."its something I dread", or even "something I may dread". My humble 2 cents.
5th Dec 2012 4:32am
Thank you Cjfler, I just read that back, and it does feel right. Gonna change that, as aftr re reading it I see what you mean, it flows. I appreciate any feed back I really do., as Im just back at college at 50! doing me english eng & lit.... and am looking at doing creative writing course.... so love feedback positives good but constructive critism too, any really...xxxxxxx
5th Dec 2012 5:24pm
Nikkimoe, you have no idea how your comments, suddenley hit me when i started fillling in a form, you bought out what i was dreading... and wrote a poem shortly after in tears.
thank you for that.xxx
,so fucking torn to pieces,
thank you for that.xxx
,so fucking torn to pieces,
5th Dec 2012 6:21am
Cool poem. That numbness as you describe it seems so familiar -- as others have commented too. I like the sense of inner exploration.
5th Dec 2012 10:29am