Darkness On A Weary Soul

I never meant to be so bad,
 
I dont know why I feel so fucking mad.
 
Since I recall I've been this way,
 
I tried so hard to not just go astray.
 
But everything I tried to do
 
Just built it up, inside my hunger grew.
 
And Innocence fell through my hands,
 
I have become something, just not a Man.
 
A monster with such lying eyes,
 
Those who have trusted now in graves they lie.
 
I didnt mean to bring such Pain,
 
Couldnt control the thing that I became.
 
It lived in my veins, lived in my Heart,
 
And with such passion tore them all apart.
 
But that is Me, it's who I am,
 
By my own self am I to be condemned.
 
I know exactly what I do,
 
I know in Time this Life will take me, too.
 
It is a sickness I cant cure,
 
An ailment in this life I cant endure.
 
I wish I could have just been Good,
 
Became a Man I knew and understood.
 
But Darkness on a weary soul,
 
Creates something that has no self-control.
 
My Innocence was drowned by Hate,
 
I would now sell my soul to change my fate.
 
I saw the things that I would do,
 
And knew I wasnt like the rest of you.
 
I didnt play the way you did,
 
I was an awkward little twisted shit.
 
I liked to hurt things I would catch,
 
I'd watch them die then throw them in the trash.
 
Sometimes I'd save some of their heads,
 
And hang their skulls across my room on thread.
 
As I grew older I moved on,
 
I went from cats and dogs to something strong.
 
An animal is easy prey,
 
But hunting Men is such a harder game.
 
Once I began I was a fiend,
 
I had to kill to find a moments peace.
 
It's like a junkie in my mind,
 
Begging and begging not to be confined.
 
It always wants to just get high,
 
And watch the life drain from somebody's eyes.
 
These days I try to keep it down,
 
But, Oh, those fucking urges come around.
 
I drop my walls and lose control,
 
And kill, like I have never killed before.
 
Each time more blood and much more pain,
 
It seems in vain I have this Hate contained.
 
So here I write my last request,
 
That I may finaly be granted rest.
 
I ask only that I be burned,
 
And to the Earth my ashes be returned.
 
For now the beast in me is still,
 
So there's just one last victim left to kill.
 
I just want you to know I tried,
 
But couldnt change what I became inside.
 
So now I say to you, at last,
 
I'm tired...and The Sleep is coming fast.
 
Pretty soon my veins will be drained,
 
And this Pain will fade to memories stained.
 
Tell nobody what I have done,
 
And dont ever speak my name.
 
Let me fade away No one,
 
And let not their Pain become my fame.