deepundergroundpoetry.com
Drops of Sorrow
As time is ticking by
There's blood that still I cry
I wish then wonder why it is that
I still want you
Your heart was made of gold
You left then life went dull
Yet I can't imagine all the reasoning for desire
I tried to hard to please you
Still it's not enough
All of it's okay
You're the one at loss
We only wanted love
We search for it
Desire it
Live or it
I lived for you
So when that dark day comes
When you're all alone
I hope you regret
The moment you lost me
Published 29th Nov 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 110
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Nov 2012 4:47pm
29th Nov 2012 4:54pm
Anonymous
- Edited 13th Dec 2022 00:35am
29th Nov 2012 5:21pm
<< post removed >>
29th Nov 2012 6:14pm
While I like it, there are a a few grammatical problems that a simple proofread would take care of. Then, there's the switching of tenses halfway through. It happens at:
"We only WANTED love
We SEARCH for it.." Etc
Or perhaps I'm reading it wrong. Either way, it's a beautiful piece :)
Xoxox
"We only WANTED love
We SEARCH for it.." Etc
Or perhaps I'm reading it wrong. Either way, it's a beautiful piece :)
Xoxox
8th Dec 2012 11:24am
Ever think it was intentional? Love is wanted and searched for by everyone, no matter how much they may deny it yet we still focus on what we don't have... That's along the lines I was going for, but it is what you make of it and I appreciate any time you're willing to waste on me...