burnt

So there's this room
It's completely circular

No way out
No way in

I built this around myself on a cold winter evening

I'm still here
I'm still here

So in this room
The walls are bricks
And everything is old and has a warm feeling
And then I touch the bricks

And it's so cold, there are burn marks on my hand
It's so cold, I want more
It's so cold I press myself against the wall

My hips, thighs and upper arm
And suddenly I pull away
And it's covered with cuts and scratches and marks and mutilations

So these walls
I want to leave these walls
And return to the outside

These walls are falling
The sky is falling
The endless room of bricks is tumbling on top of me

I'm screaming for help
I'm crying for help
I'm asking
I'm begging for help

But people help, and they help
And I get stronger
For just a second
And they let go
Because I look okay

But I'm not okay
I'm keeping these walls up
My head is down
My face is hot with tears
But why won't they come back

Why won't they help me
Why don't they say they don't care, instead of faking?

I'm not faking
I need to get out of here
Should I just let go?