is there sense in this?

I want
to give an answer
to pick
to get it over with
but I can't
I wont
it's not possible
too many factors
it depends.

my life
my future
my choice
and I wish
I didn't care
about any of it
I cant care
but I do.

fate already knows
where I'm headed
and yet...
I have to pick
anyway
I don't want to
I can't
not now.

so go
so stay
so fight
I don't care
I'm not letting
thoughts
flow into my head
I cant care
not now
not ever
but I'll have to
one day
just not... not now.

leave me be
let my thoughts
have their peace
which is so rare
but I refuse
to let anything in
only happy thoughts
focus on happy
my break
the break that I wish
could last for eternity
but it cant

for now I wont choose
I wont pick
between two options
when in the future
there might be a third
or a fourth...
so there
that's my answer.