FIVE OLD CODGERS DISCUSS 'TORN'

 
(The hit song by Australian singer Natalie Imbruglia has a chorus where the singer describes herself as being “cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor”.  These are the imaginary reactions of some old codgers who have heard the song without properly undertstanding its context and whose minds zoom in on the chorus line.)

“That Natalie Imbruglia lying naked on the floor
Is going to catch her death of cold one day, that’s for sure!”

“That Natalie Imbruglia lying naked on the floor
Gets my heart a-pumping and my throat sounding ‘PHWOAR’!”

“Natalie Imbruglia sounds a tatty little whore,
Singing to everybody what she does on the floor!”

“If Natalie Imbruglia lay naked on MY floor,
She wouldn’t be able to get up, her back would be sore!”

“Natalie Imbruglia sent my heart a-quiver
When she came out with her first song, that one called Shiver.
Why she was a-shivering ‘came clear when she sang Torn:
‘Twas lying naked on that floor, like day she was born!”