Butchered

well I like this a lot you brought intensity with this one!
well done
good luck in the comp!~

Thanks for noticing the intensity, nikkimoe.  

Thank you, Strider, very kind, as always.

Very well done :)

Thank you. :)

Magdalena, I'm pleased to hear that.  It is not what I normally write and I pushed out of my comfort zone.  A bloodthirsty mood, perhaps...

Thanks for the comment, Kourtnissixxx.  I'm pleased you like it.

Nice... I've always been morbidly interested in gladiators and such..

Yes, gladiators and their savage arena never fail to attract spectators.

Thank you, very much, BlackRarity, for stopping by.

Good luck, well written :)

Thanks again, Scribbler.  ;)

Some very strong lines in this. (esp liked "The crowd and the beast are one", even better that it hits the reader immediately. The close was also quite good.)

It was a very different sort of world in the age of the Roman Empire. While I think that you captured several of the elements of The Coliseum quite well-- the urge to modernize the sympathetic responses of the character, while it likely helps the modern reader to visualize and sympathize with the character in one respect, gives away a bit to the accuracy of the character of the period. (And most assuredly to the character of Rome itself.)

Not a critique so much as an observation during the read, and one I have definitely noticed in several-many other writers of historical fiction. I think that this is quite well written, and good luck in the contest.

Uley

Interesting comment, Uley-Bone.  I didn't realize I had an inaccuracy, but I'm not surprised.

Gladiators are a passing interest for me, so I'm pleased with whatever I did get right.

Way to go Atakti,

I could smell the fear, feel the sweat burn my eyes, taste the blood on my lips. Bravo for pushing the envelope and stepping outside of your comfort zone!

Mark

Thank you, Mark, for stopping in and living it so vividly.

Whilst the entirety of this is good, it comes across as shit, but it is still good. Do you want to know why? Of course you do. That opening is one of the finest pieces of writing my eyes have ever had the pleasure of reading. I'd go so far as saying it is perfect. I really mean it. I read it again and again. Fuck the rest of the poem, (no offence) that could be the finest stanza on the whole god damn site!

I'm speechless, thank you.

Umm..

Yes, speechless.  Thanks, Panama, means a lot.

I got a very good picture with this poem...great description

Thank you, Mason, for reading and commenting.  Glad you like it.

I agree with Panama about the first stanza,however I disagree that the rest of the poem is shit.It just didn't carry the same weight but still good nonetheless.Nice one.

Thanks, Viwe.  I agree, the inspiration hit hard on the first stanza.

I agree with Panama Judas about the first stanza. Fantastic; it could stand alone.  The rest of the piece was very interesting to me.  A couple years ago, I did a past life regression with an hipnotist, and what came up was I was a Roman centurion who was mauled by a lion in the cage area of an amphitheatre.  Were you there? very descriptive.

Was I there?  ...If I was there, I would have been the lion, no doubt.  (Sorry for the mauling, I was pissed off with being caged.)

Thanks, cj.

Wow, such imagery, like you're letting us in to the confines of your innermost thoughts.

If you mean innermost thoughts while I was "in the arena", then yes.

Thanks for the comment, Crona.

Yessss, Broomie!

Intense and brutal, that's what I was after.  Thanks for reading.

Thanks for the kind encouragement, Jack.  I may venture into similar work again.

Wonderfully penned, I enjoyed this read!
DD

I'm glad you liked it, DD!

Thanks.

Thanks for the 'wow'!

:)