deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Story
*for the Sadness competition
standing
naked
transparent
and still no one sees
past the curves
to the heart
to stand
so vulnerable
yet the vessel
not the soul
receives the embrace
lonely
sad
broken
waiting
to be seen
longing to be
touched
standing
naked
transparent
and still no one sees
past the curves
to the heart
to stand
so vulnerable
yet the vessel
not the soul
receives the embrace
lonely
sad
broken
waiting
to be seen
longing to be
touched
Published 13th Nov 2012
| Edited 20th Nov 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 192
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
13th Nov 2012 12:10pm
14th Nov 2012 9:26am
14th Nov 2012 1:40am
I love competition pieces. Especially when soul is injected into the portrait. Succinct and hits the heart.
Consider entering more comps. The piece you wrote of your daughter Lilly is my fave of yours.
Consider entering more comps. The piece you wrote of your daughter Lilly is my fave of yours.
14th Nov 2012 9:57am
Thank you, Ken! I put my heart and soul into everything I write and I hope that it shows.
I love the spark of inspiration a competition can give. They can also dampen your spirits a bit as you get a lot of rejection. lol
Lilly is your favorite? :) I have been working on one for my daughter Mina as well. If I ever get it completed...
I love the spark of inspiration a competition can give. They can also dampen your spirits a bit as you get a lot of rejection. lol
Lilly is your favorite? :) I have been working on one for my daughter Mina as well. If I ever get it completed...
14th Nov 2012 6:17am
14th Nov 2012 10:02am
Thank you. Sorry for your being able to relate. At the same time it's nice to hear someone does.
27th Nov 2012 5:09pm
Sometimes the vessel gets more attention than the contents.....and thus form and function...those who see below, beneath, between....see the form for the medium by which the function is executed...so they are a matched set... subtly is its own reward.....
17th Apr 2013 2:51pm
