call it what you want sweetheart, it's just a chemical reaction

he drives like he fucks    
erratically    
and there is a thrill in that    
the unexpected    
fingers searching out forbidden places  
his cock probing and pressing against tender flesh    
that I let few enter  
   
he’s got a heart deeper than the ocean    
but he’s broken and what goodness there might have been in his soul    
long ago drowned in the murky depths    
his best self now decaying among fish carcasses    
   
he makes me weak when I want to stay strong    
he tempts me to dirty words that roll off my tongue    
half sarcastically    
because it’s the only way I can say them without laughing    
   
I tried so hard to be a good girl    
to play that delicate part    
but I’m not who I claim to be and it scares me    
how hard he can turn me on    
in violence and softness and everything in between    
   
and I watch him fall into me seeking that which his heart most desires  
love    
yet I know I’ll never love him    
I don’t want to touch that place that he keeps so hidden    
so I settle in resigned lust, for the heat of his mouth    
and the pressure of his cock sliding gently into my ass    
   
as he presses me against a wall and fucks me    
kisses me with so much painful passion    
like he could love me    
like he knows what love is    
when the truth is that we’re just two lonely people    
looking for something more    
than a chemical reaction    
and sadly    
that is all this is    
   
-Eve-