Black Rose of Despair (it's about an addiction)

How sad this heart of mine is    
 In my mind I'm fighting mad    
 My body a shell of rotting decay, smells of dying flesh    
 Soul as black as this rose I hold    
     
 Memories of you start to unfold such a hold you had on my body  
 Over and over like a broken record    
 Voices in my head, faint whispers "your ugly and worthless"    
    
 Why oh why can I never be free    
 Eyes kept closed I don't want to see anymore    
 This unparalled feeling of no self worth    
 Hiding in shadows alone and distraught    
 Body weak and weary it's tired of the war    
 It's fought with it's self for so long    
 I fall to the floor in my despair    
 Only to crawl to the toilet bowl then my bed time to rest      
My brain drained   
 As I lay here on my pillow and weep like the willow   
 Eyes wonder the room with a heart of doom    
 I relize never will I be free    
 From this lone, wanting feeling    
 peeling away at the layers of pain