Battles of The Heart

I wake up each day with choices
To smile or not, to make the best of my time

The bed I sleep on so cold
Separated from a man that I vowed to love
Our lives take different paths
Our kids keep us united each day

The choice to stay or the choice to leave
I choose each day to stay not knowing what to expect
My heart aches for what I can't have
My smile so shallow a facade to hide my feelings

Feelings of sadness, feelings of spite
Fighting back emotions, confusion in my heart
Ice so thin it could shatter with the slightest mistep
Wanting so bad to find that satisfaction

Holding on just to do the "right thing"
To weak to fight anymore but too strong to walk away
Trying to raise strong confident boys
Who know how to show emotion and selflessness

A battle of my heart that is one sided
Wanting to be chased and tired of doing the chasing
Coldness fills the air but warmness I must create
Providing a stable home and soft place for them to fall

Today another sacrifice to save face
One day it will be about me
The battles will cease
I wait so patiently hanging on to a thin rope