deepundergroundpoetry.com
In This Silence
Dust skips in the light that
glares on us it's hot
on the back of my head
but my hands still cold
yearn for consolation
seconds turn to minutes
while rhythmic heartbeats mix
with doubt and like
a spiders' last erratic twitch
before sudden death
my fingers shrivel in my palm
deciding not to lock with yours
glares on us it's hot
on the back of my head
but my hands still cold
yearn for consolation
seconds turn to minutes
while rhythmic heartbeats mix
with doubt and like
a spiders' last erratic twitch
before sudden death
my fingers shrivel in my palm
deciding not to lock with yours
Written by
SychophanticSlag
(Carla)
Published 8th Nov 2012
| Edited 28th Feb 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 22
reads 246
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: In This Silence
8th Nov 2012 9:34pm
re: Re: In This Silence
9th Nov 2012 1:43am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 7:46pm
9th Nov 2012 8:49am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
9th Nov 2012 8:56pm
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 1:37pm
11th Nov 2012 2:19am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
11th Nov 2012 2:36am
re: Re: In This Silence
11th Nov 2012 2:53am
your praise became irrelevent as soon as you brought my looks into it.
re: Re: In This Silence
11th Nov 2012 3:06am
I do not need your compliments.
"great poem" is hardly a sincere compliment.
And I'm nowhere close to afraid of your "bad side."
I'm not here for people to reduce me to my profile pic
and call me "sexy". I'm sixteen so I would really watch what you say to me. Thanks.
Don't threaten me with your "bad side" and say I have an attitude just because I'm the wrong fucking girl to call sexy.
and FYI I always have an attitude.
"great poem" is hardly a sincere compliment.
And I'm nowhere close to afraid of your "bad side."
I'm not here for people to reduce me to my profile pic
and call me "sexy". I'm sixteen so I would really watch what you say to me. Thanks.
Don't threaten me with your "bad side" and say I have an attitude just because I'm the wrong fucking girl to call sexy.
and FYI I always have an attitude.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 5:37pm
12th Nov 2012 5:50pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
13th Nov 2012 1:57am
Thank you!
You're so right about the within/with and I'm gonna change that.
You're so right about the within/with and I'm gonna change that.
Anonymous
- Edited 18th Nov 2022 2:35am
17th Nov 2012 10:15pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
18th Nov 2012 9:30am
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Aug 2019 1:43am
2nd Dec 2012 2:45pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
5th Dec 2012 7:49am
Re: In This Silence
15th Dec 2012 6:32am
I love the last 3 lines, I don't if it was intentional or not but I feel 'like A spiders last twitch' flows better... Lol ignore me if that was intentional
0
re: Re: In This Silence
16th Dec 2012 9:58am
Re: In This Silence
30th Jan 2013 7:51am
There is something about this poem that stands out from everything I've read in the past few days. It has such a unique rythym. I even read it aloud a few times. The simile between the spider and your hand was masterful and well...poetic.
0
re: Re: In This Silence
30th Jan 2013 4:21pm
Anonymous
- Edited 16th Sep 2020 7:37pm
6th Feb 2013 10:20pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
9th Feb 2013 12:02pm
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Aug 2019 1:43am
15th Feb 2013 8:49pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In This Silence
28th Feb 2013 7:09am
Never too late. :)
Thank you so much for this. I've made some changes and I'm pretty happy with them. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for this. I've made some changes and I'm pretty happy with them. Thanks again.