deepundergroundpoetry.com
Portal Afterlife
This house was small and the emotional
Tides sloshed, joy ebbing, misery flowing.
The old wood faded to gray, the door’s
Torn knots blinded through the years.
The iron bands hang limply, embracing
Missing pieces, ravaged by sun and wind.
The echoes long since silenced, the
Occasional rasp of the hinges stilled.
The petrified door kneels awkwardly,
One last grasp on its past, on its
Last rusting hinge.
Published 6th Nov 2012
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likes 9
reading list entries 3
comments 12
reads 136
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Nov 2012 11:12pm
7th Nov 2012 8:29pm
Oh no, is my poem about getting old?? ... so it is.
Here I thought I was describing an old door, and a metaphor snuck in when I wasn't looking. Good insight, cj, thank you.
Here I thought I was describing an old door, and a metaphor snuck in when I wasn't looking. Good insight, cj, thank you.
7th Nov 2012 10:37pm
I wasn't sure which way it was leaning. I thought of both, and with the depth that I've read in some of your other work, I chose to go with what I did. I admire poems with multiple ways of being seen. thank you.
8th Nov 2012 3:36pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
6th Nov 2012 11:25pm
<< post removed >>
7th Nov 2012 8:29pm
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 10:05pm
7th Nov 2012 9:56am
<< post removed >>
7th Nov 2012 8:30pm
8th Nov 2012 1:01pm
Atakti,
I can see where the chap got the metaphor theory from.
It's a nice little dainty poem, and the fact that as you say it's about an old door makes it all the more better, it's great when we can make something out of such a topic.
not sure if the capitals work though but that's your call.
good stuff Atakti
I can see where the chap got the metaphor theory from.
It's a nice little dainty poem, and the fact that as you say it's about an old door makes it all the more better, it's great when we can make something out of such a topic.
not sure if the capitals work though but that's your call.
good stuff Atakti
8th Nov 2012 3:37pm
Thanks for your feedback, Craic, I will consider about the capital letters..
Glad you liked it. :)
Glad you liked it. :)
8th Nov 2012 11:18pm
This is absolutely brilliant. The final stanza is a fantastic image, and the elaborate lengths of the metaphor are brilliant. Well done!
9th Nov 2012 9:07am