Just Dies

Often it's a shadow I accuse of taunting me,
following me around like my worst anxiety.
I want to blame you for it but I always am defeated.
because I know I could just go but instead I choose to need it.

As dismal as my life feels now
I struggle with myself for how...
to find the reason to greet each day
in any kind of upbeat way.

I thought I could find comfort from you,
but I cant teach you what you should do.
I cant teach me to be happy inside
as I imagine where you are tonight.

You sneak around. I am aware.
You'll screw it up with time.
And when you do, I'll be right there,
to empty whats been on my mind.

Don't expect these open arms
to widen more for all your lies.
You will be wrong when you see I'm gone.
A little bit of me just dies.