Confessions

I don't think I try  
As much as I really should  
But I don't deem anything worthy  
I held effort as long as I could  
 
I give up too easy
Confrontation frightens me  
I cry when people yell too much  
Although I'm just as guilty  
 
I have the tendency to lie  
Tell people"It's just fine"  
Force that plastic grin onto my face  
At the knife they drove into my spine  
 
The Rake is on my fear list  
Along with Slender man  
I'm also scared of dark hallways  
I avoid them when I can  
 
My friends are growing tired of me  
This, I can really see  
When they leave me for each other's love
Rubbing my face in their glee  
 
Religion is meaningless to me  
Although every Sunday I go  
To a baptist church, I sing the songs  
But on me,"God" has yet to grow  
 
I am a walking paradox  
Although, I don't mean to be  
My thoughts and actions contradict  
Everything I want to be  
 
I'm cutting off my friends  
Atleast, the parasitic ones  
People who drain the life out of me  
Their time has surely come  
 
I never think I'm good enough  
Although everyone says I am  
I hate myself, no I loathe myself  
I frequently hold razorblades in my hands  
 
I get attached too easily  
Especially to males  
I'm learning I can trust NO ONE  
For their promises always fail