Dreams

dead inside
i'm just trying to hide
tears no one will ever see
an ache no one will ever know that is always deep in me
i feel like someone has hit me wrong
i haven't felt this way in so long
i shouldn't be hurting  when i don't even have a reason why
everyone but me has a better reason to cry
i always feel so alone
and i know, I KNOW that i'm not on my own
fighting this feeling with all my might
but it has it's hold on me, it's grip is tight
feel like i'm drowning on air
why do i feel this way when so many people care?
the sun is out there is no rain
so why oh why am i suddenly without reason in pain?
no one knows how deep this pain goes
and i hope that none of them learn how freely in me pain flows...
I don't want to be a victim, i don't want anyone thinking i need to be rescued
i was born screwed...
my heart hurts and yet i am happy
how can happiness and misery
live inside me side by side?
no i don't think anyone can truly understand this pain  i hide
i want to let go of this pain
let it fall from me like i'm the cloud and it's the rain
I am not Atlas, i can't hold the world up
i am simply sick of drinking from misery's cup
i pray to God everyday
hoping he'll show me how to give him my pain and make it stay
i long to be happy with not a hint of pain's taint
in colors of joy i long to paint
i feel like i'm running and always falling
where will i run when i know that this path is my calling
to learn how to control my anger, control my pain and how to be patient in time
to give up control and live purely by what i want to do truly would be a crime
i long to be happy with out pain
but someone once told me you can't have a rainbow without a little rain