My World of Contrition

I regret....

Sorrow
Allowing it to flow onto tomorrow
Happiness
Believing in it's falsified existence
Hatred
Letting it bleed and pulse through me
Love
Toying with my emotions, fooling me

I regret...

Being the brother that didn't die
Waking up everyday I have been alive
Smiling when it wasn't how I felt
Running from any source of help
Thinking anything would ever change
Loving and loving again and again
Helping friends who could careless for me
Bleeding for those who wouldn't bleed for me

I regret...

Time
The good short lived and the bad without end
Questioning
Nothing answered, nothing understood
Dreams
My constant inability to reach them
Wishing
Filling myself with false hope, faded visions

I regret...

My birth, failed existence on earth
My abnormality, everything I failed to be
Loving anyone and anything, except for me
Living when it all feels so wrong
Everything and anything I have ever done
Even now, I regret writing this poem
How I will think and cry over all my decisions
I regret regretting in my world of contrition