alone in the dark

I am alone in the dark
I have no vision in my right eye
I have long grey hair
And the appearance that nobody cares
People laugh and stare
as I walk by trying to make my way home
That’s when I had a place to call my own
Now I’m often on the side of a dark cruel road
Cars drive past me in the rain
Nobody knows my true pains
It’s not that I don’t have money to eat
It’s not even the fact I can barely walk
And if I had a friend or just another voice, I would talk
But what scares me the most
Is that my kids might see me one day
And they would also past me by
As if I were an animal about to die
I am often alone in the dark
I have grown quite fawn of it
But there are the days that I dream
Of going back in time
Just so I could see my family once again
My addiction has kept me in prison
Away from the only love I have ever known
I hate that I can’t see your smile
Or that I been away for awhile
I can see my daughter’s face
I know I have failed as a father
I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t bother
To go look around for me
And my son not yet born
Will always wonder who I was
And why has daddy run away?
I lay here under a tree frozen
But that doesn’t bother me
But knowing my family is there
And nobody cares to look for me
That’s what hurts the most
But it was my own wrong doing
I am the only person to blame
I blow out the flames
I ruined the only true thing in my life
And for that I’m sorry
But that isn’t enough I know
But if you could only see the hell I’m going through
Then maybe you would take me back
This is not what I dreamed my life to be
Living from night to night
By a stop sign or street light
But it’s my reality that I’m trying to change
Nothing comes easy but if you work hard
Anything is possible
I have lived out here six months now
Will I ever change my ways?
I can only hope so
Because what scares me the most
is being alone in the dark.