Sunday

In my head I am wandering, as I'm sitting here wondering,
Over so many things that I am feeling inside
I feel a thunder in here, and a sky that was clear,
Has grayed like the Sun has either fallen or died.
As I look over the fields that once had colored my heart
All the flowers are gone, only holes where they grew
Leaving only the hurt, that will tear me apart
As I remember a time when these skies were blue
Something's stirring below where I had once long ago
Buried darkened and poisonous seeds
Now deep in my soul the roots twist and take hold
Growing inside me is nothing but weeds

So I stand here once more, my dreams dead on the floor
I hear the screaming of the demons that killed them
The strength I would feel was like my sword and my shield,
Against the monster in here I would wield them
But now all the rooms that were bright, are beginning to dim
The familiar dull ache of the pain creeps in
The last flicker of light, reflects a tear from my eye
And I find myself left in the darkness to die
And for every step forward I take four or five back
Tracing footprints I laid when my spirit was black
In my head are the traces of my days up above
Swimming in the oceans and the rivers of love
But in time it will seem to me as only a dream
As the rain has a way of turning soil to mud
A sprinkle to a flood

I felt the malice in me resurrecting the hate
Anger is all my mouth can taste
It is my means of comfort as I fall from grace
Now all the prayers my hands could make
With my dreams and my love
They are laid to waste
One final chance for me to try and escape
But I thrive on my spite so I hesitate
Breathing life back into the lingering hate
Convinced beyond shadow that this is my fate
For this is where I am  recognized
Dead ends and gray skies
A fist through a mirror and I multiply
My hands turn black as the blood dries
As I walk the streets I remain composed
But now my precious guilt is all I know
The drugs relieve but will not fulfill
The whores are warm but empty still
This is where I am meant to be
This where I present to thee
The world that would not wait for me
But now I’m free, yes now I am free